21st Century Catholic

Hello St. Raphael parish!

2009-01-08T02:51:00.003-06:00

Thanks for coming to my old blog!

Just this year I started a new blog (shorter name, easier to find....). So I'd like to invite you to come on over to my new blog! To reach it, click the link below:

http://www.acts24.com/blog

God bless you,

Deacon Jacob Maurer

A new year, a new blog!

2009-01-01T14:02:00.001-06:00

Well, its been long in coming, but its time to unveil the new website!

Google's blogger service has been good to me for the last three years, but the lure of a more reliable service & complete control over the site has finally pushed me to purchase my own domain!

With a new site comes a new commitment. I've been very bad at updating this blog and if there is even anyone still reading this, I'd be surprised. My goal in this new blog is to post meaningful content at least twice a month, and put up minor posts weekly.

In any case, I would like to thank you for sticking around at this blog and invite you to check out my new website/blog: "Follower of the Way" at http://www.acts24.com/blog. A new reflection will be up by the end of the day, but for now, poke around and see whats new!

And hey, Happy New Year!

Peace,
Deacon Jacob Maurer

Election day post

2008-11-04T00:25:00.002-06:00

You know who the candidates are and what they have said they stand for.

So go out and vote. And don't just vote with your feelings or sentiments, important though they are. Vote according to what is right, what is good and true and right. And don't let anyone tell you that there are no non-negotiable issues. Life & family issues are the foundation of human dignity and human society. Our faith must guide us in choosing a national leader who will stand for Truth and look to promote Truth.

Vote - as one discerning God's will: as a Catholic.

Peace,
- Deacon Jacob Maurer

Its coming...

2008-10-26T13:11:00.001-05:00

Soon to be unveiled!

- Deacon Jacob Maurer

Blog referral

2008-10-25T13:24:00.003-05:00

I came across a new blog (for me...) that I'd like to recommend. The post I'm linking to is his most recent homily. Good stuff.

The Deacon's Bench blog.

Peace,
Deacon Jacob Maurer

Life after ordination!

2008-10-14T05:58:00.003-05:00

In the off chance that anyone reads still reads this, I thought I'd put in a quick update. You have my word that a more significant update will follow. I also hope to put up more regular updates again, but I think it would be more prudent to avoid making promises there....

Its been just over two months since my ordination to the deaconate. It is still something that makes me catch my breath at times! One of my friends, as he approached his priestly ordination, remarked how suddenly ordination seemed to come on him, especially after so many years in the seminary. I can empathize now.

The greatest joy so far has been to assist at the Mass a deacon. Just a few weeks ago I flew back to my internship parish in my archdiocese to be with them as a deacon - I preached at the Masses and was also blessed to be able to baptize fifteen children. It was a great occasion, for me as a new minister and to be able to share in the moment with the parents of those newest members of the Church.

Another moment of great grace was being able to assist as a deacon at the ordination of a my classmates and diocesan brother - Deacon Nicholas Wichert. If you have a little time, please offer up prayers for him. If you have a lot of time, go over to his blog (link on the right) and drop a note of congratulations. Who knows, maybe he'll even update his blog!

Peace,
Deacon Jacob Maurer

(You may notice some minor updates to the blog design. Its a work in progress, but let me know what you think)

Deaconate Ordination!

2008-08-12T02:46:00.003-05:00

I don't even know how to write about whats coming next: my deaconate ordination. I am to be ordained on August 23rd. A couple weeks ago I finished an amazing 36-day retreat in preparation. Now I am simply finishing small details.... and waiting.

More posts will probably show up in the days before ordination, but please (please!) pray for me as the day draws nearer. As you can probably imagine, I'm excited, nervous, anxious and a whole bundle of anticipation - even as I find myself wholly at peace with the fact that I am getting ordained!

Peace,
Jacob M

On retreat

2008-06-22T21:29:00.000-05:00

Posts here at 21st Century Catholic have been far and few between in the last few months, so I'm sure that a(nother) dry spell won't be surprising anyone....

For the next 36 days I'll be on retreat in preparation for my deaconate ordination and so I'll be away from all sorts of technology, including the blog. If you have a few spare moments, please offer a brief prayer for me and the other retreatants - we can certainly use it... it is a silent retreat!

I look forward to sharing my experience here on the blog, though. So come back in August!

In the meantime, please pray for the priesthood class of 2008. The final ordinations are coming up (with the last ones being in August, I believe), and then these men are jumping into ministry - praise God!

God bless you
- Jacob M.

Mundelein Class of 2008 Ordinations: May 17th

2008-05-17T08:00:00.002-05:00

A great majority of my classmates were ordained to the priesthood today - all of them from the archdiocese of Chicago:

Father Laurent Mhagama
Father Roberto Molina
Father Marcin Szczypula
Father Grzegorz Wojcik
Father Przemyslaw Wojcik
Father Juan Pablo Avila
Father Diego Leon Berrio
Father Maciej Galle
Father Jose Garcia
Father Michal Lewon
Father Thadeo Mgimba

Prayer for a Priestly Heart (from the Manual of Prayers)
Divine Savior, Jesus Ch
Saint Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274)
Give me, O Lord, an ever watchful heart which no subtle speculation may ever lure from you.
Give me a noble heart that no unworthy affection shall ever draw downwards to earth.
Give me a heart of honesty that no insincerity shall warp.
Give me a heart of courage that no distress shall ever crush or quench.
Give me a heart so free that no perverted or impetuous affection shall ever claim it for its own.

Amen.

- Jacob M.

Mundelein Class of 2008 Ordinations: May 16th

2008-05-16T10:00:00.002-05:00

A scant six days after our the first ordinations of my classmates, two more have followed!

For the diocese of Saginaw, Michigan:
Father Daniel Roa-Fuentes

For the diocese of Covington, Kentucky:
Father Daniel Shomaker

A Prayer for Priests (from the Manual of Prayers)
Divine Savior, Jesus Ch
Risen Lord Jesus, you love us with all your priestly heart. Hear my heartfelt prayer for my brother priests. I pray for faithful and fervent priests, for unfaithful and tepid priests, for priests who labor home and abroad, for tempted priests, for lonely and desolate priests, for young priests, old priests, sick priests, dying priests and for the souls of priests in purgatory.

Merciful Jesus, remember that we are but weak and frail human beings. Give us a deep faith, a bright and firm hope, and a burning love. I ask that, in our loneliness, you comfort us; in our sorrow, you strengthen us; in our frustrations, you show us that it is through suffering that the soul is purified.

Eternal high priest, keep us close to your heart and bless us abundantly, in time and in eternity.

Amen.

- Jacob M.

Mundelein Class of 2008 Ordinations: May 10th

2008-05-10T23:02:00.001-05:00

Today four of my classmates were ordained to the priesthood!

For the diocese of Davenport, Iowa:
Father Joseph Sia
Father Hai Dinh

For the Order of Saint Benedict, Marmion Abbey (Aurora, IL)
Father Damien Daprai

For the diocese of Belleville, Illinois
Father Nicholas Junker

Prayer for the Santification of the Clergy (from the Manual of Prayers)
Divine Savior, Jesus Christ, who has entrusted the whole work of your redemption, the welfare and salvation of the world, to priests as your representatives, I offer you through the hands of your most Holy Mother Mary, this present day, whole and entire, with all its prayers, works, and sacrifices, its joys and sorrows, for the santification of your priests, and for all those preparing for the priesthood.

Give us truly holy priests, inflamed with the fire of your divine love, who seek nothing but your greater glory, and the salvation of souls.

And you, Mary, good Mother of priests, protect all priests from dangers to their holy vocation, and with the loving hand of a mother, lead back to the Good Shepherd those unfortunate priests who, unfaithful to their exalted vocation, have gone astray.

Amen.

To the first of many new priests in the world!

- Jacob M.

Pope Benedict XVI's papal visit

2008-04-25T22:07:00.002-05:00

If you haven't been to his blog already, now is the time to head over to Bryan Och's blog, "Destination Priesthood". He has started a series of posts on his experience in New York at the rally with the Pope. Come back later for my own post on the trip (its crazy-busy this weekend), but go there now for a great (!) detailing of his experience.

Peace,
Jacob

God bless you, Pope Benedict XVI!

2008-04-24T18:54:00.005-05:00

I just got back from New York & Pope Benedict XVI's visit this week and will have some reflections and photos up after the weekend has passed.

In the meantime, I recommend an excellent reflection by Peggy Noonan, titled "Something Beautiful Has Begun". She wrote this shortly before His Holiness set off for American soil, but I think you'll agree that it will stand on its own for quite some time to come.

Also, if you haven't noticed the "new!" in the podcast icon above, go ahead and click on it! Its my first official podcast and I'm very interested in your feedback.

Peace,
Jacob Maurer

He is risen!

2008-03-23T13:10:00.003-05:00

He is risen indeed! May you have a wonderful & blessed Easter

- Jacob

Chrism Mass

2008-03-20T22:56:00.001-05:00

Wednesday of last week, in lieu of celebrating on Holy Thursday, our diocese celebrated the Chrism Mass. As a seminarian on internship, I am asked to serve at all of the diocesan liturgies that I can. This was especially exciting because I don't normally get to attend Easter season liturgies; seminary is in session until the Friday before Palm Sunday. The icing on the cake for this Mass was that I was invited to be the thurifer (the official name for the server who handles the incense) – one of my favorite symbols within the Mass.

The Bishop with the Eucharist in the Cathedral!

Let me talk briefly about cathedral Masses. First of all, the cool factor starts with being at the cathedral. The cathedral! Someday I'm hoping to go through and photograph the place. But don't let my future plans shortchange your enjoyment; check it out on your own from their own website. After checking out our cathedral – which is an awesome church – I definitely recommend looking up your own diocesan cathedral. The amazing thing about cathedrals is that there is a great deal of consideration that goes into the architecture because of the meaning behind cathedrals: that it is the seat of authority of the ordinary of a see. Saint Peter's Basilica is the seat of the Holy See (Rome), Saint Patrick's is the seat of the See of New York and Saint James is the seat of the See of Seattle. ...but I digress.

The second most awesome part about liturgies at the cathedral is that usually the priests of the diocese also gather with the archbishop and auxiliary bishops. This is most strongly evidenced at ordination Masses, when nearly all the priests of the diocese come together to welcome the newly ordained to the presbyterate. Throughout the year the presbyterate comes together on various occasions, but never as strongly as in the Mass, when they celebrate in union with their bishop.

But that isn't the best part of liturgies at the cathedral. That honor belongs to the presence of the faithful, whom come from all ends of the diocese to celebrate with their bishop and his priests. When I say all ends of the diocese, I'm talking from the northern and southern-most tips of the diocese. From as far as Forks, WA - which you can see from the Google map is probably the furthest away you can get!

Liturgies like this are a symbol in themselves. This is the local church, gathered under one who is a direct descendant – by ordination – of the Apostles. When the faithful, the priests and the bishop are gathered together in the celebration of Mass, the entire Church is represented – and Christ the Head is also present, in His priests, His bishop, in His promise, and most significantly in the Sacrament of the Eucharist. This is it, folks – the Mass celebrated with all of the Church's members represented – and it just doesn't get any better.

χρῖμα (Chrisma)

I'd like to show you a brief part of the liturgy. After the homily the bishop is presented with the oils to be blessed. This is one of the three presentations & blessings:

(Presentation of the Oil for Chrism and the Balsam Essence)
( text from Chrism Mass Order of Worship)

Oil Bearer: Archbishop, behold the Oil for the Sacred Chrism.

Priest: Archbishop Brunett, we bring this oil from the fruit of the olive tree and ask that after mixing it with the sweet perfume, you consecrate it for the sealing of the baptized in the Sacrament of Confirmation; for anointing the hands of the priest, and the head of the bishop in Holy Orders; and to anoint the altar and the walls of the house for the Church in the Rite of Dedication.

Those among us who baptize infants, prepare the elect and the candidates of our parishes for Confirmation; who work with candidates for ordination, and those of us who prepare to dedicate new places of worship, ask this blessing.

Essence Bearer: Archbishop, behold the essence for the Sacred Chrism.

Priest: Archbishop, we bring this sweet perfume to be mixed with this olive oil, that it might become the sweet odor of the Gospel, the blessed presence of the anointed One, Christ the Lord.

Procession to the Chrism standard

Archbishop:
Let us pray
that God our almighty Father will bless this oil,
so that all who are anointed with it
may be inwardly transformed
and come to share
in eternal salvation.

(Archbishop slowly breathes over the vessel of Chrism)

Archbishop:
God, we thank you for the gifts
you have given us in your love:
we thank you for life itself
and for the sacraments
that strengthen it
and give it fuller meaning.

In the Old Covenant
you gave your people a glimpse
of the power of this holy oil,
and when the fullness of time had come
you brought that mystery to perfection
in the life of our Lord Jesus Christ your Son.

By his suffering, dying and rising to life
he saved the human race.
He sent your Spirit to fill the Church
with every gift needed to complete your saving work.
From that time forward,
through the sign of the Holy Chrism,
you dispense your life and love
to your people.

By anointing them with the Spirit,
you strengthen all who have been reborn in baptism.

Through that anointing
you transform them into the likeness of Christ your Son
and give them a share
in his royal, priestly, and prophetic work.

(Archbishop extends his hands over the Chrism)

And so, Father,
by the power of your love
make this mixture of oil and perfume
a sign and source of your blessing.
Pour out the gifts of your Holy Spirit
on our sisters and brothers
who will be anointed with it.
Let the splendor of holiness
shine on the world
from every place and thing
signed with this oil.

Above all, Father, we pray
that through this sign
of your anointing
you will grant increase to your Church
until it reaches the eternal glory
where you, Father,
will be all in all,
together with Christ your Son,
in unity of the Holy Spirit,
for ever and ever.

Amen.

. . . . Its amazing how just one prayer can be so powerful.

A seque....

There is a principle that I was introduced to in seminary (Thank you Father Martis): lex orandi, lex credendi . Essentially the principle is that what we believe is reflected in what and how we pray; we truly act out our faith. The Catechism explains it well:

The law of prayer is the law of faith: the Church believes as she prays. Liturgy is a constitutive element of the holy and living Tradition.

Thus, the best examples are found in the Mass.

Take the second Eucharistic prayer (the oldest – from the anaphora of Saint Hippolytus). The priest first praises God the Father, praying in words that reflect the words that the faithful say just before (“It is right to give him thanks and praise”). He concludes the opening of the prayer by saying:

And so we join the angels and the saints
in proclaiming your glory
as we say:
Holy, holy, holy Lord, God of power and might,
heaven and earth are full of your glory.
Hosanna in the highest.
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.
Hosanna in the highest.

And then the faithful kneel.

Where else does this occur? Take a brief look at these Scriptures: Isaiah 6:1-7, Matthew 21:9 and finally, Revelation 4:8-10. The Sanctus comes from Scripture. . . . and so does the kneeling! The whole Mass is about us on earth joining those in Heaven in praising and receiving the Lord.

And so we join both our words and our actions to those of our family in Heaven. Our faith – that we believe in and worship the Lord, the God of power and might – is expressed. We say the words (because words truly are important) and we match ourselves physically to the words we say.

Lex orandi, Lex credendi, applied

The presentations and prayers over the oil of the chrism and the balsam essence are great examples of this principle. Take a look at oil in our Scriptures and Tradition.

In Exodus 28, the Lord tells Moses to bring Aaron (his brother) and Aaron's sons to serve as His priests. In Leviticus 8:10-12 Moses anoints Aaron with oil, consecrating him as a priest of the Lord.

Note also that Moses anointed the altar and the things that were associated with it in order to consecrate them. (Seem familiar?)

Anointing of oil was also prescribed in the New Testament for the healing of the sick. Mark's Gospel shows the Apostles, by the command of Jesus Himself, going out preaching, driving out demons and anointing with oil those who were sick. Later, in James 5:14, we read the command to have the presbyters (elders – priests!) pray over and anoint those who are ill.

Anointing is, then, a source of grace and of healing. Through anointing the Holy Spirit works in the lives of those anointed and in the places of sacred celebrations.

Anointed with the Holy Spirit

Remember when Jesus made Himself unpopular? (Hmm. Maybe that needs to be narrowed down.) You know, when He got up in the synagogue and made the audacious claim that the Scriptures He had just read were about Him? It was in Luke 4:16-21 and Jesus said there something extraordinarily significant: “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me [emphasis mine]”.

But Jesus wasn't anointed with oil, so when did this happen? And while the Son of God doesn't need one, is there any kind of precedent? The answer can be found in the Scriptures that Jesus was reading (Isaiah 61:1). And then there was Jesus' baptism. Jesus was sinless – and is one of the Persons of the Trinity – what was the point of baptism? There is Jesus' solidarity with humanity in its sinfulness, but there is also something more. The descent of the Spirit of God like a dove, coming upon Him! For Jesus, this fulfilled prophecy in marking Him as the Messiah of the Lord.

But for those who come after Him, there is something significant. In His baptism, Jesus changed what baptism does for all those who are baptized in His name. In our baptism in the name of Jesus, we may receive the Holy Spirit!

Confirmation – receiving the Holy Spirit, sealing for redemption

In the Acts of the Apostles, an interesting distinction is made. Lets take a brief glance at Acts 8:14:

Now when the apostles in Jerusalem heard that Samaria had accepted the word of God, they sent them Peter and John, who went down and prayed for them, that they might receive the holy Spirit, for it had not yet fallen upon any of them; they had only been baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. Then they laid hands on them and they received the holy Spirit.

Do you see it? There was something more needed for those in Samaria? They had been baptized, but hadn't yet received the Holy Spirit. For that, something more was needed. From this practice of the Apostles has grown the theology and practice of Confirmation.

The Chrism Mass: Where it comes together

Alright, so we've gone through the continuity of oil throughout salvation history. We know that oils were used in some of the most sacred points of that history, from the Levitical priesthood to the priesthood of Jesus Christ. We know that oils are used today in baptism, confirmation, anointing of the sick and ordination. Can you imagine what would happen if we didn't have these oils? The Sacraments are not just words; they are words, actions and substances brought together for the benefit of humanity. If you remove (or change) any part of this, you change – or make incomplete – that Sacrament! What would any of these four Sacraments be without the oils that accompany them?

The final piece, then, is the sanctification of the oils. This only happens once a year and it is notable to recognize that this can only be done by the bishop, who is a direct descendant of the Apostles by the character of his ordination.

And so we return to the prayer over the oils. As a descendant of the Apostles, the bishop alone has the authority to lead the Mass and blessings that sanctify the oils for their proper uses. Did you notice how the bishop breathes over the Chrism in the middle of the prayer? Recall when Jesus came to the Apostles in the upper room and He breathed upon them, saying “Receive the Holy Spirit”. In this same manner – with the same action, the bishop is asking that the Holy Spirit accompany the Chrism in its sacramental use. Lex orandi, lex credendi!.

In the end. . .

There really is an ultimate goal to all of our liturgical celebrations: the salvation of souls and the reunion of all humanity – in the unity of one Body (thats the Church) – with God. The Chrism Mass is no different in this regard. But it is a shining moment in the liturgical year, as it visibly brings together the whole Church in those present and it illustrates the unity of God's plan throughout all of history.

The next time you witness a baptism or confirmation (or when you receive them yourself), or perhaps when you have the opportunity to see the consecration of a church or the ordination or a priest, recall that this oil, with which all the baptized have been anointed and sealed for redemption, is one of the great sources of grace given to us by God through the Church. Pretty amazing. Pretty awesome.

May you have a blessed & joyful Holy Week and Easter.

- Jacob Maurer

Update/news

2008-03-19T19:39:00.002-05:00

So.... yes, I do have a post coming. Its almost done, but won't be up until tomorrow. I need to proof it and suss out how I'm going to turn it into a podcast. In the meantime, I find myself listening to a lot of Christmas music while writing for this blog and preparing for the Easter Triduum. Weird.

In other news, I received a invitation to have one of the photos I took in Italy submitted to an online map/guidebook called Schmap. The picture in question is one I took of the Column of the Immaculate Conception. I've only received a message saying that it is being considered for inclusion (and would I approve please approve the submission? [yes!]), not that it will necessarily be included. Nonetheless, the invitation is flattering.

Incidentally (and the real reason I took this shot!), the Column of the Immaculate Conception is the model for the column was made at Mundelein seminary. Rumor has it that Cardinal Mundelein actually wanted the original at the seminary - how that would work, I have no idea!

May you have a blessed Triduum and a wonderful Easter.

- Jacob M.

Hey - where's the promised post!

2008-03-15T17:26:00.002-05:00

Okay, so its not here. I'm sorry!

If its any consolation, I truly have three pages (!) already written. I couldn't stop there, so you're going to have to wait. Again. Assuming anybody is still reading this....

On the flip side, its about the Chrism Mass and I'm still pretty excited about having been able to serve at our diocesan celebration of the Chrism Mass. Hang tight for a little while longer and I should have the post (and a podcast shortly thereafter) ready!

Peace,
Jacob

Updates are in the making!

2008-03-09T01:40:00.004-06:00

Well, its been two months since my last post, which was little more than the reprinting of the work of someone else! I've been very lax in the work (so to speak) I do here. I know a least a few folks are checking here regularly and I'm sorry to have had nothing for you for so long!

As you can tell, the blog has undergone a few changes. A good friend of mine is designing a group-run blog (which I'll link to as soon as I find out it has been opened!) and their example inspired me to do a bit of updating on this one.

The photo above is a picture I actually took from the steps of Saint Peter's basilica in Rome - just over a year ago (sans the reflection on the bottom... which I'm unnecessarily proud of editing in!) My profile picture has also been updated, using another photo from Rome (the Piè di Marmo)! Most significantly, I've changed the blog to use up more pixels - which is to say that it has been optimized for use by monitor set at higher resolutions. If you're still using a resolution under 800x600, I'm sorry for the inconvenience. However, with the modern-day computer defaulting to at least 800x600, I'd like to start putting that previously unused space to work!

Life at the parish is going well, though quite busy. My next post (within four days - truly!) will offer some of my thoughts about internship so far. But in a word: great! Working in the parish (and not insignificantly away from the seminary!) has been nothing but affirming of my desire to be a priest, and a diocesan priest at that!

Peace!
- Jacob Maurer

Letter to a woman carrying a child with a fatal condition

2008-01-15T23:37:00.000-06:00

Susan Stith of the Catholic Register (the official newsletter of the Altoona-Johnstown Diocese in Pennsylvania) wrote a letter that deserves special attention. I have no doubt that there is not a soul alive in the United States whose life has not been touched somehow by abortion.

During this month of January, in which we remember the day the Supreme Court decided against the dignity of life - January 22^nd, 1973 - please pray particularly for all mothers who have been touched by abortion or who are considering abortion.

Letter to a woman carrying a child with a fatal condition

- Jacob M.

Acknowledgements

2008-01-01T23:50:00.002-06:00

The content of this blog and its corresponding podcast (materials, statements, opinions, images, et cetera) are the responsibility of me, Jacob Maurer. Despite my being a seminarian for the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Seattle, this blog is in no way endorsed, authorized or reviewed by the Archdiocese of Seattle, its archbishop, clergy, employees or officials of the archdiocese. While I strive to maintain the highest standard in articulating theology properly, statements made here are by no means authoritative as teachings of the Roman Catholic Church.

In short, all materials and statements on this blog are a reflection solely of my person.

(Have a few grains of salt on hand)

Credits

Many thanks to Douglas Bowman (www.stopdesign.com), designer of the template that I used as a base for this blog. Thank you for making so many your templates freely available for hobbyists around the world.

Credit is also due to Everaldo Coelho (www.everaldo.com) and Yellow Icon Design (www.yellowicon.com), creators of the Crystal Clear icon set (the Crystal Project), four of which are used in my logo above.

Mr. Coelho's site

www.gnu.org

Crystal Clear (app) Kaboodle

Crystal Clear (app) KEdit

Crystal Clear (app) Lphoto

Crystal Clear (app) Lists

And the Word became flesh

2007-12-24T21:09:00.000-06:00

. . . . and dwelt amongst us.

Merry Christmas

- Jacob M.

Longing for the Holy Land

2007-12-14T01:34:00.000-06:00

As Christmas approaches - and mindful of my (future) classmates now in the Holy Land - I find myself with a deep desire to return to Bethlehem. When I read in the Liturgy of the Hours or hear in the Mass the writings of King David (or others) of how they desire the joys of the Holy Land, I have a much greater understanding of that wish!

I know that many folks, if not most, have no opportunity to visit the Holy Land. I would encourage you to take some time to explore what you can of the Holy Land through pictures and writings. This is the land where Jesus was born, raised, worked, died and rose! If we reverence the altar of sacrifice in the Mass, shouldn't we also reverence in some way the places of His life, death & resurrection?

I would like to introduce you to the Holy Land by way of the two things that made the first (and lasting) impression on me. The first is the Basilica of the Nativity. The morning we arrived, a group of us marched down to the basilica; how could we resist the place of the Christ's birth? The first picture below is the sight were were greeted with upon entering the basilica.

The second picture is of a group of us with the owners of the store "Saint John's Souvenirs", a very short walk away from the basilica. I have more in the photo description, but John (the store owner) and Mike (his nephew) were the first locals to welcome us wholeheartedly... and they continued to offer their friendship to us throughout our trip. If there were an eight corporal work of mercy - "embrace the foreigner" - John & Mike would be our embodiment of that in the Holy Land.

Peace,
Jacob M.

P.S. Actually click on the photos; I have more detailed descriptions & remarks on these two photos at the actual Flickr site. At some point I will do the same for the other photos, but for now I've only commented on these two. But if you click on them (go on!), you'll also be able to see the full-size photos!

The Basilica of the Nativity

Saint John's Souvenirs

Flickr update: Pilgrimage photos!

2007-12-12T02:20:00.000-06:00

With many thanks due to technology of the 21st century, I have been able to upload (almost!*)all of my photos from my pilgrimage to the Holy Land to Flickr. If you click on the link to my Flickr photo account (below, to the right.... or just click here instead), you will see all 942 photos ready and available.....

Because of the contraints of Flickr's photo sharing site, you can not have a slide show of the whole pilgrimage, only the individual sets (of which there are about 107!). Sorry 'bout that...

I hope you enjoy them - and are inspired to make a pilgrimage of your own!

Peace,
Jacob

*The last of the photos are uploading right now.... and I'm going to bed, so the photos from the month of February won't be organized into a collection. Wait a day and it'll be set.

Have you thanked your priest lately?

2007-11-30T21:58:00.000-06:00

This year of seminary formation has started out in a way that is a little strange: I didn't return to the seminary (gasp!). I am currently on a year-long pastoral internship in my home diocese of Seattle, but about three hours south of that metropolis. Ironically, this southernmost assignment is the closest I've been to home since I started seminary! It is a nice consolation to be close to my family.

I have all sorts of things going on here (and maybe I'll get to a point where I have the free time & extra energy to post about them....), but the one thing that is abundantly clear is that the life of a priest is far busier than anyone genuinely understands. Too boot, a parish priest finds himself pulled in a hundred different directions, only able to go in a few of them and forced to prioritize those calls with the greater needs of the parish community. This is all part of the understanding that a man picks up as he prepares for priesthood.

The terrible part about this is that there are people who think that Father doesn't do enough, that he chose the wrong priorities, that he is a poor priest and a bad Catholic...... and they're not afraid to let him know this, if only in what they think are clever and subtle ways.

I know this not only because I have a unique vantage point as a seminarian, but because I am often that parishioner who is not-so-secretly judging. If you are honest with yourself, you will find this to be true of yourself.

Advent starts tomorrow night at the vigil Mass of Sunday. It is the busiest time of the year for the parish and there is truly (I am finding) not enough time to prepare for Christmas... along with all of the ordinary needs and movements of a parish. Any parish priest will find himself drawn in so many direction his head will spin. He will be out & about for longer hours and have less time to himself or with family than anyone. And there will be many who will criticize him - even openly - for not doing more.

This weekend, throughout Advent and beyond, take a couple moments to simply and sincerely thank a priest for giving up his own desires, priorities, needs, sleep, family time, days off, privacy, rest (and so on) for our spiritual needs.

They need our support, even as they offer us theirs.

Peace,
Jacob M.

Internship & the lack of posts

2007-11-06T23:11:00.000-06:00

Yes, I am still maintaining this blog! I haven't posted in quite some time now (since September!), but a post in forthcoming. In the meantime, check out the picture below of Archbishop Brunett. Its from a poster advertising for the Archdiocesan Young Adult Service Team. Seriously, lets hear it for some new thought in Catholic media! Its good to see.

Peace,
Jacob

Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows

2007-09-15T11:35:00.000-05:00

Today is September 15th, the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows and this marks two years since the accident that killed two seminarians, Matty Molnar & Jared Cheek, and irrevocably changed the lives of two other seminarians, Rob Spaulding & Mark Rowland.

In the face of terrible things that happen, my response – the human response, I think – is to try to fill the void left behind. Our sorrow, our anger and our guilt are only further frustrated by the terrible fact that nothing can replace the good that is lost. We can’t undo the Fall from grace, and we can’t raise the dead.

One of the corporeal works of mercy to comfort the sorrowing. For anyone who has suffered any loss (and who in this world hasn’t), there is the eventual realization that it isn’t the end in itself. In our sharing of our sorrows, new and different joys are forged and strengthened. ("O happy fault, O necessary sin of Adam, which gained for us so great a Redeemer!") We still suffer and what we’ve lost is still out of reach, but something good comes out of that suffering. There is grace to be found in suffering shared. Maybe that is the real purpose and the real blessing of sorrow.

Too often we turn from sorrow to anger & guilt; sometimes we embrace one or the other, sometimes we alternate. Usually we grab at both. Anger prompted Moses to lose sight of God even after seeing Him face-to-face on Mount Sinai. Guilt drove Peter from Jesus’ sight after he denied Him three times. But each of them reconciled with the Lord after they strayed and both became two of the greatest leaders of God’s chosen people. We’re never far from the Lord.

As you pray for the repose of the souls of Matty & Jared, please also pray for their families & their friends. Pray for their parents. Pray for Rob. Pray for Mark. Rest assured that Matty & Jared are interceding for them and for us at the throne of God.

Peace,
Jacob Maurer

On CPE: My experience & reflection

2007-08-14T23:33:00.000-05:00

I’m writing this post for a couple of reasons. The most obvious is that I want to share my experiences with you and tell you a bit about this significant part of seminary formation. But I am writing this almost primarily for my seminarian brothers. On your behalf, I hope to dispel some of the fears about CPE and offer a positive outlook about a program that is often spoken about without much enthusiasm.

CPE in the seminary: the 500lb elephant in the living room

As a seminarian, there is one thing I learned very quickly once I entered theological studies: I did not want to go to CPE. I've heard horror stories that made me feel - and oftentimes still make me feel - angry, frustrated and powerless.

One former CPE student related to me how each verbatim, every IPR and even the presentations were used as opportunities to bash on Catholicism. Another talks about how the program was a simple front to get all emotionally feeling at any moment. Still another talks about hearing presentations on hot-topic issues that were unabashedly biased against what he knew to be true, despite his understanding that CPE was an opportunity to become a better and more faithful minister.

In short, I knew - and I mean knew - that CPE was going to be a gauntlet of people hurt by Catholicism, ridiculously touch-feely and probably offensive, because that is how it is so often related by brothers at the seminary & lay theology students. I knew that this was the lowest point of seminary - the hurdle that would test my resolve to continue in my studies.

Ugh. The whole this made me wonder about just exactly why we have CPE, and what the heck its supposed to be all about and if its really worth it.

For starters: what is CPE?

In a nutshell, CPE is a program that exposes students to the moments of crisis in people’s lives (where ministry is often most crucial), offers them training in responding pastorally and provides a safe environment for peer feedback. This usually takes place in a medical context, for the simple reason that major life changes take place there every day. As a minister to others, I am in a position to offer pastoral care in a way that doesn't necessarily come up everyday. As a man studying for ministry, I am challenged by these situations and by peers & supervisors in evaluation and feedback.

The majority of a person’s time in CPE is spent with people, in ministry. This summer I have been assigned to the rehabilitation floor of Saint Joseph’s Medical Center in Tacoma, Washington. Patients coming in are usually recovering from surgery, strokes, major accidents, et cetera – and they are working to regain as much of their physical ability as they can. On this floor we have a capacity of 32 people and from my experience, the average stay is about a week and a half. I am expected to spend 24 hours a week on the floor, visiting patients and their families.

The particular strength of CPE is found in the group work that done. Like any study program, there is presentations, skills teaching, reading involved. But the two parts of CPE that are quite possibly unique to the program are verbatims and Inter-Personal Relationships sessions (or IPR). Put simply, a verbatim is a recounting of a ministerial conversation in order to explore the situation & your pastoral presence. IPR is an opportunity for members of a CPE group to share their impressions of others and receive feedback on how others see them.

Why do I need CPE?

One of the things that any parishioner can testify to is that every priest - every priest! - has personality quirks that consistently show up in his ministry. There are parts of his personality or attitudes that stand out in how he works with the people.

I daresay that most parishioners would agree that it is the rare priest who is either conscious of these or able to hear criticism of these.

This isn’t just about weird behaviors or habits that we tend to put on; I’m talking about the very way we approach major issues that manifest themselves in the everyday little things. We all know someone – priest or not – who you just can’t talk to about certain issues, who you know won’t accept any kind of criticism, who is overbearing, who is too shy, who is always nervous, who is overconfident, who is outspokenly opinionated, who is _____________.

A person’s personality comes out most strongly when he (or she, in any example) is in a position of power. And lets get it out there: a priest is in a position of power, of confidence that I am being approached for the sacraments, advice, help – ministry is both sacramental and personal. The priest is in persona Christi capitis and at the same time, Christ is working through a single man, a unique individual person and personality.

So.... if a man has got some issues, they’re going to be in play when he is priest. They are a part of him, and as a (healthy) priest his whole person is put into his ministry.

Yes, you’ve got issues too

“But I’m not like Father Grouchy at Our Lady of Perpetual Misery & Boredom*; I’m well-adjusted and normal!”

Who am I to argue? You get along fairly well in dealing with day-to-day things, you aren’t committing atrocities against people around you. Odds are fairly good that you’re honestly trying to do your best in the world. You’re a normal guy.... which means that you’ve got (normal) issues.

I’m not using ‘issues’ here to mean psychological problems or needs that can only be addressed with the help of medication and a custom-made jacket best suited for use in a padded room. What I’m talking about are the regular things that every person has: biases, past hurts, things we don’t like to talk about or face.

The history book in your head

That seems fairly vague, so let me give you an example. My Dad is a retired military officer. Assume for a moment that he raised me to call him ‘sir’ & my mom ‘ma’am’: discipline & respect were to be shown in the manner we address others. As an adult, how have I incorporated that into how I see other people? Are other people less respectful because they don’t call everyone by honorifics? Am I able to be easygoing when the situation calls for it?

(My father, incidentally, never insisted on that kind of behavior.)

The fact of the matter is that we never come to any moment in time without carrying with us every moment of our past. Everything that happens to us now is filtered past our experiences – and the attitudes that we have formed from those experiences. We consult our personal history book every day. Thats normal – if we had to evaluate every moment in our lives as if it was totally new, we’d have a devil of a time staying sane.... or doing anything else.

IPR: personal & ministerial growth through feedback

At home, in work and at the seminary, I have often wondered what would happen if I was 100% honest - and 100% frank - to another person about how I felt at a particular moment. Maybe you’ve had a similar experience:

What would 'John' think if I told him that I was tired of him always talking about himself? What if John and I were in a position where we simply had to talk about this? Could we do it politely, but still be straightforward? Would we be able to truly hear what the other would say? And most significantly, how might we both grow into better people?

What I am describing is what happens each time we gather for IPR. IPR is supervised; it is not a time for one member (or many) to bash on others. It is an opportunity for a member to speak to others – or the whole group – about something that they feel is important about themselves or about others. The scary thing is that to do so is to invite others to respond to you, and to do so honestly.

Imagine how much better relationships would be if this lesson could be taken into families, work, friends.... or maybe more directly for seminarians & priests - the parish office? What if?

Yes, you do need CPE

The title says it all, but let me just add my last bit to it. CPE has been for me, above all else, 10 weeks of discovering more about myself. Its been kind of exciting to hear how others see the potential growth in my person and my ministry. Its satisfying to be able to walk into a patient’s room and actually be the minister that I’ve studied about for so many years now. And its a genuine relief to know that those pastoral encounters are opened up by my peers in order to see how I might grow in facing similar ones in the future.

CPE is for you. And it is for your ministry, for those who you will meet – who will need you to be the best minister that you can be as a priest. There are bad programs out there – inasmuch as there are bad leaders everywhere. But CPE can be an excellent time of figuring out parts of your identity as a priest – a time that you will not find again easily, even in the seminary – certainly not as a full-time priest. Take advantage of it, and I think that you’ll find the program to be a well-balanced addition to your seminary training.

Peace,
Jacob Maurer

*An example inspired by Father Daniel from somewhere in the mid-West, whose many amusing (but relevant!) examples are a constant source of fun in classes that even he acknowledges could easily stray into the dry and painful. (Return to reading)

Quick prayer request/update

2007-08-14T04:35:00.000-05:00

Yeah, yeah, I'm behind! I'm touching up a book report for CPE, due this morning, so I'm a bit behind on that promised post. It WILL come before I fly out to my friend's deaconate ordination in the Salina diocese. That's this Thursday - now I've got a promised deadline!

In other news, my parents & my youngest brother (who celebrated his 16th birthday this last weekend) have headed west to Hawaii. Yes, they are right there. No, I'm not jealous, or in any way regretting that I am not on the beaches of Oahu, where the water is so clear that you can see the floor of the ocean for as far as you can see below the water, where the weather is always warm and at the same time cooled by the trade winds coming from the west..... Can you tell? Sigh. I do love Hawaii!

But at the same time, there is a hurricane (Hurricane Flossie) that looks like it also wants to spend some time around the beaches. And apparently, an earthquake managed to shake up Hilo (on the Big Island) as well. So I would ask that you add my family and everyone currently on the Hawaiian islands to your prayer lists, at least until the end of the week, when the Hurricane should be past, to the best of my knowledge.

Until Thursday (or sooner...)

Peace,
Jacob Maurer

Summer blogging (I'm not dead!)

2007-08-07T00:29:00.000-05:00

Happy feast of the Transfiguration!

Although I know that my blog isn't holding thousands rapt (or hundreds. . . or tens!), I've received enough prodding to wake me up from my summer posting slumber. I am indeed not dead! Its been busy out here, with Seattle ordinations, family time & my summer assignment: Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE). I'll post more on that shortly - its coming up next.

A quick update on whats going on (after CPE). This year is my internship year, which means that I spend a year at a parish, working and getting a feel for the internal workings of the ebb & flow of Catholic life. As a military brat, I've moved around just enough to never have really gotten into this ebb & flow as a parishioner, much less as a seminarian, so this is a really valuable time.

Following that, I may return to the seminary for a summer session before resuming during the normal academic year for my final year. Yes, the end is near! Or rather, the end of the beginning is near! The water is getting deep out here (good thing I know the doggy paddle).

I hope all is well with you & your families (whoever 'you' may be!). Enjoy the end of the summer vacations and keep an eye on this blog - updates are coming shortly!

Peace,
Jacob

Feast of the Annunciation

2007-03-26T21:01:00.000-05:00

Today is the feast of the Annunciation - I hope that your celebration was a joyful one. Our celebration here at the seminary (dedicated to Saint Mary of the Lake, by the way!) was a good one, celebrating the solemnity at our main chapel. Good things!

You might notice as well that I've changed the blog a tad. I put up a virtual memorial to Matty after his death - the pop-up message that he had on his blog. Matty had a great devotion to Mary and it seemed some consolation that he died on the feast of the Mother of Sorrows. Its been a year and seven months, and on this feast of the Annunciation, I think its appropriate to bring this part of my remembrance to a close.

I think I'll leave the message on the blog, but in a less overt way. I'd ask that you continue to pray for the repose of the souls of Matty Molnar & Jared cheek, as well as for their families and friends.

Peace to you on this feast of Our Lady!

- Jacob Maurer

Chivalry rediscovered: the forgotten glory of being a gentleman

2007-02-03T00:14:00.000-06:00

A couple of housekeeping notes! You may have already noticed that I've put up a few photographs on my Flickr account (180 photos, to be precise!). They are as-yet unorganized, arranged by the date taken and nothing else. I intend to put descriptions on them.... eventually, but for now I've put them up in the hope that you can enjoy and reflect on some of the sites here in the Holy Land.

With regards to comments, I'd like to remind you that I do enjoy hearing from you! Its especially a nice touch from the homeland out here. If I don't publish your comment, please don't be offended. It may be that though it was not uncharitable or bad, but that I felt it more prudent not to have certain things up for anyone to read. You never know who might be reading. Rest assured that I do read your comments!

Finally, for the ladies who may read this blog, know that I will be writing (shortly, because I have finally! finished my last paper) something about the counterpart to chivalry. I highly recommend this post, not just because I wrote it but also because it may help you know what to expect in us men!

(Post-script: you may notice that I have put up a link to the USCCB vocation video "Fishers of Men". I have, of course, received permission to do so, and invite everyone to watch it if you haven't already - or watch it again if you have. Pray for vocations!)

One of my hobbies is to watch people. While walking in the mall, talking on the sidewalk, drinking frappucinos at Starbucks, it is always revealing to see how one person treats another. But the problem with people-watching in modern culture is that one is inevitably frustrated at the behavior of others.

Just a little while ago, I was at the post office here in Jerusalem. As I left with the friend I was accompanying, I overhead the strident voice of an angry young man.

Turning around, I saw him, probably between eighteen and twenty. The female clerk he was speaking to, in an increasingly loud voice, didn’t seem to understand English and certainly didn’t have the packing material he wanted. He began to talk down to her in a rude and sarcastic tone, speaking with insultingly exaggerated slow speech. Shortly he stomped off.

In seminary and simply in life, we learn that we have to overcome the initial shock that comes when our fellow man behaves poorly, but such exchanges never fail to anger me. Something wrong just occurred, and we men need to acknowledge and address the problem. We have forgotten what it is to be a good man, to be a gentle man.

The concept of a gentleman has been something that has captured my imagination and desire from the first time I picked up medieval stories. Reading many of the classic books - and many contemporary stories - the gentleman of a story stands out. We all are familiar, at least from the use of the word in movies, with what a gentleman is.

The fabled gentleman: the one who knows how to behave in every situation, has a impeccable manners (especially with regards to women) and has a working knowledge of many, if not all, the common and finer points of culture. He is a man who others respect instinctively while he simultaneously dignifying them simply by his presence of being towards them.

It seems to me that the gentleman is a dying breed.

You can find examples of gentlemen throughout the 'golden age' of Hollywood movies. 'Guess who's coming to dinner', 'Casablanca', 'Lillies of the Field' to name a few of my favorites. And if you start looking at literature, well! You'll be overwhelmed by gentlemen.

Gender: a natural sign of invisible realities.

Men and women are not the same. We are equal in dignity, but not in physical or emotional stature. There are obvious differences that need not be detailed. More than that are the natural, but differing strengths of men & women. Barring the exceptionally strong woman or the exceptionally weak man, men are stronger and bigger than women. Likewise barring the exceptionally sensitive man or the exceptionally apathetic woman, women are more nurturing and intuitive than men.

There is more to it, of course, but these are generally agreed-upon facets of the genders.

Power, strength, physical ability, these are things that also beget responsibility. In line with my love of superheroes (the arch-type of many American ideals being Superman), I would quote Ben Parker: “With great power comes great responsibility. Remember that. . . .” Women are (generally) physically weaker than men, and so we have a duty to safeguard them. And more than that, women are the tabernacles of humanity, bringing life into the world through their actions and their very bodies. No man can do this, but it is every man’s job to honor and protect that potential in women. It does not matter that a woman is barren or that she is celibate; she is worthy of respect and care by virtue of her extraordinary grace of motherhood – physical or spiritual. It is part of every woman’s nature.

There have been travesties that have come out of misguided ideas of chivalry, but the best definition of chivalry is the duty of a man to honor God, serve his country and respect & protect his fellow man, most especially women.

Equal in dignity, yet in varied (but complementary) ways

Whenever anyone mentions differences in men and women, the question of ‘equality’ comes to the fore. Before you can say ‘boo’, accusations of chauvinism and feminism are thrown out. I’d like to clarify myself before going too much further. Men and women are equal in their dignity as human beings, both genders having been created in the image of God. Anyone who denies this, in part or entirely, is guilty of a most serious fault in charity (as well as good theology).

But we can not simply say that men and women are equal. Equality is a mathematical term. The number two equals one plus one (2 = 1 + 1). The sum on both sides is exactly the same. Men and women are not numbers, and they are not exactly the same. Its a mistake to say that two different people are the same, much moreso to say that the two different genders (which encompass every individual person in the world) are the same. Just as each person has strengths and weakness proper to his person, so each gender (generally) has strengths and weakness proper to it.

If you think that I am somehow saying that women are lesser than men (or vice versa), please re-read this section. The point here is to simply recognize that men and women are not equal in the precise meaning of the word. If we can’t recognize the differences in each other, we won’t be able to go any further in understanding how we are to behave in the roles that these difference place us.

Rising to the challenge of true manhood

In the USCCB’s new vocation video<, a priest made a remark that resonated with me and I suspect would do so with anyone:

“I think young people want the challenge of being pulled to something more than just mediocrity. All young people, I think, have that deep desire to do something remarkable – to be someone remarkable.”

Does that sound familiar to anyone? It is a powerful true-ism, despite remaining unarticulated within most of us. In the case of masculine dignity, I would say that every young boy, every man, wants to be a gentleman – or starts out wanting to be a gentlemen.

Maybe that sounds strange – but consider the opposite: how many men want to become rude and offensive slobs? Hopefully none, but certainly very few. The rest of us become that way because we become lazy or because we discover that the work of being a gentleman is difficult. Not too difficult, but it takes a conscious and sometimes significant effort.

Human pottery 101: the formation of a gentleman

In today’s world it seems like the idea of a gentleman has been replaced with the suave, debonair and sophisticated person of James Bond (well, James Bond until Pierce Brosnan left...). And while the idea of James Bond encapsulates some of the things that make up a gentleman, he is lacking in the two greatest qualities of what it is to be a gentle man: humility and respect of others.

The simple and short answer is that mankind was created in the image of God. Simply put, to act in any manner that is opposed to our nature – the reflection of God – damages the dignity that we carry in what we are.

In fact, the dignity of mankind doesn’t stop with ourselves. Despite any solitude of our lives and actions, everything we do has an effect on those around us. And our absence, too, can affect others. If absence can affect others indirectly, and actions directly, how much can consciously good actions positively affect others?

^{What is a Gentleman?}

Among the many qualities that come together to form a complete gentleman, there are a few that strike me as being at the core of the matter: demeanor, behavior and culture.

Demeanor

The first things that shouts 'gentleman' is the way that he carries himself. His movements convey both confidence, humility and respect. He stands up straight, shakes your hand firmly while looking you in the eye and gently smiles while inviting you to tell him a bit about you. In the way that he carries himself, he conveys to the world that he is a gentleman while simultaneously looking to selfless be with others. He respects himself enough to stand proud, but his attention is devoted to attending to those around him.

Behavior

The second indicator is how a man comports himself in the company of others. In short, he looks to preserve the dignity and comfort of those around him. Gossip, uncharitable words, impolite conversation and even topics that are unpleasant (or controversial) are taboo in his presence, save perhaps in private conversations when the person for whom those words are necessary won't be embarrassed in front of others. And a gentlemen never allows or purposely directs the conversation to settle on himself. He speaks and acts so as to preserve and enhance the dignity of those around him.

Culture

The gentleman has allowed himself to be formed and disciplined in the world. He is well-read and generally familiar with the goods of the world - though neither disdainful nor enslaved by them. I have heard it said of Bishop Fulton J. Sheen (although I have no reliable source or quote) that he recommended each priest to be familiar with the finer things of life - cigars, beverages, for example - while not being enslaved to them. This wasn't so that the priest could enjoy the comforts of these things, but that a priest could approach any person in his or her own environment. Despite being independent of the things of the world, such a gentleman could relate to a person at any context.

Righteousness

Finally, the gentleman has a unswerving sense of right and wrong, of justice in the world. When the rights of another are being trampled upon, the gentleman stands up for them, especially when the other is unable to do so alone. All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. But when even one person challenges injustice, others are inspired to do the same.

You could spend your entire life searching for the best way to be a gentleman and never achieve it fully. But it would be a life well spent. The starting point of chivalry is the ability to say two simple phrases: "You're right" and "I'm sorry". Beyond just saying them, we need to be able to both mean them and act on them. Acknowledging the dignity of others, especially when they in the right, and humbly admitting our own faults is a sure path to holiness.

Being a gentleman is not an easy goal to achieve in today's society. The strangest of contradictions center around how modern society thinks men should behave. You may find even priests who behave like cads and the stoutest of atheists behaving like gentlemen. But it is the example of Christ that teaches us that there is a right way to live, and the life of a gentleman has no better guide than our Lord.

Peace,
Jacob M.

Photographs!

2007-01-29T22:32:00.000-06:00

There is now over 100 new photographs (180, to be exact) from the pilgrimage at my photo site. They are out of order and have no individual descriptions, but they are there. I'll get them organized... someday? Still, enjoy!

Peace,
Jacob

Keep your eyes on this space!

2007-01-26T16:56:00.000-06:00

I'm finally getting on the ball... kind of. I've responded to a comment from the last post (sorry for the late, late, late timing) and even cooler, I'm uploading photos from the trip to my own Flickr site (why, oh why, couldn't they spell that normally).

Unfortunately, there is about 850 megabytes of pictures to upload... and that is just December! I haven't even finished sorting through this months photos. Thats not to mention tagging them, adding descriptions or anything. Please patient!

Still, by Tuesday the photos should be up (December's, not January's!) and viewable. They might be unsorted (reeeaaally out of order) as well as lacking in any kind of descriptions - beyond their names - but they will definitely be up by Tuesday. But be patient - thats a CD & a half worth of data that needs to be sent to the great server in the sky.....

Peace,
Jacob

Happy New Year

2007-01-14T23:50:00.000-06:00

December 23rd. Thats when I last put something on this blog. Ouch.

Happy New Year! A day late and a dollar short (well, a day plus two weeks!), but I mean it all the same. It was strange to celebrate Christmas & New Years away from home, but good to do it in the Holy Land, if I had to be away from home. I hope that your celebration was an equally fun way to enter into 2007.

I have about four posts that I would like to put up, but for now I'd like to share a reflection that I wrote for my class on the Gospel of Luke here in the Holy Land. I wrote this on Luke 1:26-38 (the annunciation to Mary by the angel Gabriel). We were required to tell the priest (our teacher) who our congregation would be, so I decided to write mine as if I was in family-started pizzaria talking to a group of youth. I'd be interested in comments, criticism, et cetera!

Peace,
- Jacob

P.S. More regular posts to come!

The story of the annunciation to Mary by the angel Gabriel is one that we hear a lot, to the point that it becomes old hat. The angel Gabriel comes and announces, Mary wonders, Gabriel explains and Mary accepts. After a few years of the story, what else is there to know?

Okay, so you know at this point that there is something, otherwise there wouldn’t be anything to talk about now. I’m not done talking yet!

One of the struggles that everyone has, from adolescence until well into adulthood, is the question of who he or she is and what to do with one’s life. Hey, from the time we are five or six, we already want to be an astronaut, doctor, teacher, firefighter, musician and pilot!

What everyone eventually realizes is that we can not be all of these and that some of them are beyond our reach altogether. “You can be whatever you want to be” – we’ve probably all heard it. It is a nice saying, and it (appropriately) gives us hope when we are younger, but strictly speaking, it isn’t true. There are limits to our abilities, some that are defined by who we are - like wearing glasses or a talent in science rather than music. Some limits are imposed by others, fair or not.

If you were to sit back at this point and consider this alone, you might find yourself a little bummed out. Is it only the lucky few who get to do what they love? But there is another angle that we need to approach all of this.

It is a fact that every person has a role in the plan of God. Because we see His design from our limited view, we often look at our lives as being for ourselves. “What am I going to do or be when I am an adult?” It is a fair question, but it can lead us to think that we are a sort of free agent, doing whatever we want with no regard to any kind of meaning. We tend to look at ourselves as square pegs that can fit into any square hole – be that a doctor, teacher, mechanic, whatever – just as long as the hole is our size.

Of course, none of us are square pegs. Instead, we are our own shape and size and if a person tries to cram himself into a square hole, especially one that doesn’t really fit him, he’s going to be unhappy, even if that square hole looks really good – being a doctor, actor or whatnot.

I think I’ve taken the square pegs analogy as far as I can go (is everyone still with me?). My point is that God has a more intricate and particular plan for creation and for each of us. Even better than a square peg, there is a niche out there that is carved out in creation with you specifically in mind. Every (good) character that makes up the person that you are was taken into mind. The talents you have and even the gifts you think aren’t worth all that much (a goofy sense of humor, your interests, and so on) make you exactly suited to this niche. Others might be able to cover for that niche in part, but no one so well as you.

This gets better! We often get this idea into our head that we have to be a particular kind of person or act a particular way in order to be what we want or are meant to be. I’m sure you know what I mean – the guy or gal who puts on a certain ‘show’ in order to be popular or among the cool folks. We are one way around some folks, and a totally different way among others. This goes beyond manners; it is a sort of fakery that we think we have to assume.

But even here we have some extra good news. If there is a niche that is meant for you and another for me, then it is meant for me as I am. I hope you’ll excuse me using my own story, but when I went to the seminary, I slowly realized that if I am going to be a priest, it is because God has in mind a priest who is Jacob – not Jacob who is being completely reshaped to be a priest. We are all formed, by our actions, other peoples’ influence and the Lord, but in order to make us more of who we already are – not to change us into somebody else.

“God’s greatest glory is man fully alive” – Irenaeus, one of the great church Fathers said this way back when. When we realize this, and we begin to discern what role we might fill that would make us fully alive, then we are truly on the path to figuring out our vocation. The difficult part – and it is truly difficult – is accepting that our vocation is not what we first had in mind. We may have had our minds set on lives that are completely different than what God intended. This is no small matter, either. When we finally do discover that we are meant for a particular role, we have to give up our attachments to others, no matter how painful.

Mary’s role as the Mother of God came upon her without any movement on her part. She didn’t expect it, and certainly didn’t look to be pregnant. When the angel Gabriel came to her, she was probably not at ease with the whole thing. I imagine that she may have even known that this was going to change her life altogether – people would look at her in a different light, some good and many bad.

But this is the role that Mary was made for – God created her to be Jesus’ mother and it is hers alone. The crazy thing about being human, for her and for all of us, is that she was free to accept or reject this role. At any moment she could have told the angel that she would not do this. She could have said that she was too young, too afraid or that she just didn’t want to. And God, being good, would not take that choice away from her. She would go on with her life – incomplete outside of this plan – but freely chosen.

There is no doubt that God could have made great good out of this bad choice – look at how He made good out of the fall of Adam and Eve! But Mary accepted God’s will, perhaps because she realized that this was her role, certainly because she had faith in God’s love for her and her life. In praying on this story, let’s also ask the Lord for the grace, trust and wisdom to see and accept our vocation in His plan as she did.

Late blog...

2006-12-23T11:31:00.000-06:00

Okay, so.... no pictures, no blog and broken promises. Will a "sorry" cover all this? Even if not, I'm sorry.

In reparation, I've discovered that a friend of mine (whom some of you have heard of...) that has a blog. Mister Brian Dulli is the latest addition to the list of blog links on the right. Go forth, visit and comment (he said to mention the comments part...)!

Also, his blog is more updated than mine while on this pilgrimage (to my everlasting shame - I'll go soak my head in cold water... [okay, not really]).

Holy Land blessings and Merry Christmas from Bethlehem!
- Jacob

Holy Land post - part 2 of....?

2006-12-20T04:26:00.000-06:00

Wow, has it only been four days? It feels like it has been at least a week! These past three days were spent in Nazareth... or at least, we spent the evenings there! We drove from Bethlehem up to Nazareth and stayed with a group of sisters at their convent-turned-retreat-center. It is right across from the Basilica of the Annunciation. It has an amazing view from the terrace of the city and the dome of the basilica.

We spent the three days going from place to place. Jericho (seven times around the city, then blow your horns and the city will fall...), the Mount of Temptation (where Jesus was tempted by Satan), Mount Carmel (where Mary showed the scapular to Saint Simon Stock) and the Mount of the Transfiguration. And thats not all of the places... I just can't go through each one here!

We follow a traditional pattern of pilgrimage. At every site, a seminarian has volunteered to prepare a reading, reflection and prayer. So when we arrive at the place, we come together and pray. From there, Peter (our truly wonderful tour guide - and he's Catholic!) offers us historical and theological points of interest about each place. Many times we are able to celebrate Mass at a place, and when we can, we do.

The best times are when we are able to explore a site (such as Masada, the mountain stronghold where rebel Jews held off the Romans before killing themselves in a legendary show of independence) or are able to pray for a time at a place of Biblical significance. My favorite place, thus far, has been Mount Tabor, the mountain where Jesus was transfigured. I have found that the sites I visit do not evoke some overpowering emotion or experience (not that I wouldn't welcome that), but a call for reflection and a sense of the Lord's presence. Mount Tabor is perhaps the best in this regard and I would have loved to set up camp there and stay for a while.

The second best place that we have visited, aside from the Church of the Nativity, is the Basilica of the Annunciation. It is a grand place - literally and figuratively. It has two levels, one which preserves the original cave where tradition tells us Mary was visited by the angel Gabriel (my youngest brother is name Gabriel...). The upper level is a grand basilica in its own right and the place where most liturgies are celebrated (or at least, so I imagine).

One thing that is very neat about the basilica is that they have tried to have every nation include some devotional to Mary on the site. So both within and outside the walls you will find mosaics of Mary from each country. My favorite, thus far (I haven't seen them all) is the contribution of Ireland. I'm afraid the United States' contribution doesn't match the art that has been cultivated and contributed by so many other countries (visit my photo site to see these).

I think I'm going to sign off for now. I have an apology to offer. If you visit the photo site, you'll see that there is (still) only one picture! This is because I've spent this morning uploading photos to the a href=seminary photo site. Indeed, some of these photos were taken by me (I'm in the photo-taking group), but this is a group effort. We've been far, far (oh-so-far) behind in getting these up and out there, so my first responsibility has been to that.

Too boot, I haven't organized some of the pictures yet.

Not to fear, however, I will upload some, if not all (there are a lot) tomorrow evening. Trust me (despite the failure to fulfill my promise of Friday...). In the meantime, enjoy the photos that are on the Mundelein photo blog. If you're interested, there is also a journal that we keep, which is daily. It is updated up to the end of last week, so there's plenty to read! Explore it by clicking here (yes, here).

Peace and prayers from the Holy Land,
Jacob Maurer

The first Holy Land post!

2006-12-16T07:22:00.000-06:00

Aack! Why hasn't he posted yet? I planned on posting today.... and called home instead (Happy Birthday anonymous friend!). Spent a couple of hours on the phone (I LOVE internet calls) and will probably spend another hour after this post.

I'm going to Galilee for a few days and will type up a post to be put up sometime next week (by Friday, I promise!).

Until then, blessings!

- Jacob Maurer

Oh, okay. Here's one picture. It is of the Church of the Nativity - where Jesus was born. More pictures to come, but it takes time to upload the photos and organize them, so please be patient!

Thanksgiving blessings

2006-11-24T15:04:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope that you all were able to spend the day with family, friends and folks you care about (in whatever crazy combination of people that may have resulted in). Although Thanksgiving is a purely American celebration, the sense of gratitude that (should) pervades the day certainly rings true to those of us who have the good sense to know all that we've been given (starting with our very lives, ending with salvation - the rest is a gracious bonus!).

Of course, this weekend is one of rest & relaxation (spelled 'recovery'). Don't leave your homes, joining the masses of shoppers hoping to get the best deals. Its a zoo out there, and your already-clogged arteries are all but guaranteed to seize up in the ultimate test of virtue. Oofta.

In my last post (a month & a couple of days ago), I intended a tribute to my folks, as it was their twenty-fifth (25th!) anniversary. For those nay-sayers who claim that a happy marriage is too difficult or impossible, I would like to say . . . well, many things, but I'll just point to my folks and the many other happily married couples who have been so blessed. About a week after my folks celebrated their anniversary, another couple in our parish celebrated their 50th anniversary! Its true; marriage isn't just a myth of ages past.

One of my favorite things about coming home for Thanksgiving (or simply coming home) is the time I get to spend with my family. I think its a good indicator of a couple's ability to raise a family when the members look forward to spending time together. Not that we don't have our disagreements, but our time together is always fun. I had originally planned to write a kind of tribute of my parents, but I think that perhaps a little about the family they've fostered would speak more to their character.

My parents met in a church - my father was in the choir, my mother the organist. My father always says that he knew the moment he met my mother than she was the one. My mother..., well, she needed some convincing. Fortunately, my father was up to the task. On October 23rd, 1981, they were married. Now my father comes from a large rural family (9, including him) and a childhood that was marked with financial struggle. My mother from a small city family (4, including her), relatively stable financially. Both had relatively happy childhoods, although quite different.

One might think that two people from such different backgrounds wouldn't have much of a chance to make a life together. Some did..... although my folks were happy to prove them wrong. My parents struggled in the early years of their marriage to maintain some sort of stability. My father was laid off shortly after I was born and had to join the military. That meant that my father spent months away from home, at sea, during which time my mother and I lived with her mother (my grandmother).

As a military brat, I can testify that the armed forces lifestyle can put terrible stresses on families. Some of my best friends' families didn't survive the tests that came with the sea duty of the military parent (6 months to a year) and moving every three years. A couple needs a bond that is both durable and elastic, their children need those traits or models of those traits, in order to cope & grow too.

A trait of my parents that I've come to appreciate even more in hindsight is how they related to each other in front of us. Every kid has tried to pit his parents against each other. When mom says 'no' to something, how about asking dad... without mentioning mom's answer?

My folks, like all parents, weren't fooled for long and didn't fool around about it. "What did you mother say?" - when we heard those words, we knew the game was up. Alongside this was their near-absolute resolution to never argue in front of or in earshot of us. I mean never. There were two areas in which my parents might show public disagreement: driving and dancing. We only became aware that they didn't always agree about things after we moved out.

My parents also made family time a priority. Especially in the evening, after dinner, we would gather in the living room. When I was younger, this involved the one-eyed monster of television. When we were entering our teenage years, however, my parents decided that what passed for entertainment was simply too foul to be permitted in the house.

In this way, the cord was cut (literally, actually) and the television put in the closet. Puzzles, board games and card games became our family activities with movies on fridays (eventually preceded faithfully each time by the rosary). Our vacations were often a simple camping trip. Ask me some time about those - there's simply too many stories too be put on a blog.... (think Calvin & Hobbes, however).

My parents both have a love of music, particularly my mother (you know, the organist...). It is a love that they have passed on to all of us. Although our music tastes have some variety, we generally like the same genres. It is entirely normal for someone to make a comment and another to start singing a song in response.

For instance, on Thanksgiving this year, while my mother was preparing the dinner, she made some remark about tuna. I started in on the refrain of "Tuna Casserole" (a song performed on Garrison Keiler's "Prairie Home Companion" on NPR). Not only did this not surprise anybody, but my father, then my mother sang the whole song with me. In harmony.

Puns are also a constant source of amusement, which are closely tied to a friendly teasing. "Anything you say can and will be used against you..." - that doesn't just apply to the court system. You say something a little off, and not only will you be teased, but the puns will start rolling. No one is safe, and you never know when the next bit will come at you.

More than anything, I think that the glue that has cemented our family together has been our ability to spend time with each other. We can talk about nearly anything, even when it means pointing out something on the negative side. We're free to disagree with each other (and we do), but we can always sit down at the end of the day and eat dinner, play cards or simply talk, usually while having drinks & snacks.

A family starts with the couple, a man & a woman who don't really know what they're doing, but have the highest hopes for each other and their children. My parents anniversary & this Thanksgiving offer me a reminder of just how awesome, and to some degree rare, it is that a healthy family is born of two people, especially in today's so anti-family culture. I have much to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all, and may God grant a special blessing on all of those who are parents, role models & guardians.

Peace,
Jacob Maurer

25th Wedding Anniversary

2006-10-23T14:52:00.000-05:00

A full post is forthcoming, but for now, I would simply like to let you know that 25 years ago today, my parents were married. I would like to invite you to celebrate with us in a simple way as they and the family they have created celebrates.

Peace,
Jacob Maurer

Fairy-stories: the triumph of hope against a despairing world

2006-10-17T01:47:00.000-05:00

Ever since I learned to read, I've been a huge fan of stories. A well-written story in almost any genre is worth more than even the best-acted book or movie. Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and history – provided that the author knows how to tell the story - can all touch a person in profound and great ways.

I submit that horror stories are a particular exception to this truth. I mention horror stories now because it seems to me that lately horror stories (in movie form especially) have seen a huge rise in popularity and proliferation. I think its worth revisiting why stories are important and how the mis-use of stories not only fills our intellects with junk, but truly damages the soul.

Why do we create stories?

I've mentioned before that Tolkien presented an essay titled "On Fairy-stories". In it, Tolkien explains that there are four elements to fiction: fantasy, recovery, escape and consolation. Good stories have all four elements, with varying degrees of perfection - stories that lack one of these elements are lesser or even bad fiction.

Fantasy

Maybe its obvious, but fantasy is the core of any story, no matter what the genre. The author must create a fictional world that captures the reader's attention and makes him want to explore that world. Taking elements of reality, fantasy at its best is meant to attract our attention to certain aspects of the world

In a story, by building a new world, we don’t necessarily take our attitudes with us. For example, when you were reading Lord of the Rings (you have read the trilogy, haven’t you?), did you spend a lot of time exclaiming how ridiculous the idea of a short race with huge hairy feet and English accents were? Why not? Because it was fiction and it drew you on its merits as a story. The strangeness is believable, provided that it fits within the fictional world.

Recovery

The next element is recovery. Having created a believable world, the author uses the world to extol certain values and virtues. This isn’t just about the storyline, but about the way characters behave, the cultures of the peoples in the story – everything in the story can be used to extol values.

Maybe that seems strange - the idea that every story extols a set of values and virtues. Is it possible that a story exists where no value, positive or negative, put forth? The short answer is 'no'. Every storie's protagonists are the heroes because of some particular traits or points of character. The hero of a story is a hero precisely because he or she holds true to the values that an author holds as good (regardless as to whether or not those values are objectively good, I might add).

Take any story that you know well and ask a few questions of it: Who is the hero? Why is the hero considered a hero? What makes the hero good and the bad guy evil? I guarantee that there are values there - no matter how implicit - that the author is promoting through the characters and the stories surrounding them.

Escape

The third element is implicit in why we get into fiction. Fiction is our attempt to find some good that is missing in reality. In our exploration of fiction, we are implicitly acknowledging that something is missing in reality, some good that should already be present.

Tolkien compares our escape into the realm of fiction to that of the escape of a prisoner. A man, sentenced to life in jail, can not be faulted for dreaming of and wishing for the outside world. So too, when we escape into fairy-stories, we are attempting to get beyond the bad we are surrounded by and reach for what is good. Fiction, simply put, offers something to the person tired by the the rumbling rush of technology and ‘advancement’ which doesn’t offer them what they need.

Consolation

The good that fiction offers, as the title suggests, is consolation. In every piece of fiction, there is what Tolkien calls a “eucatastrophe”. This is not so much the climax of the story, although the two can coincide, but rather the ‘turn’ of the story. It is at this point that the reader realizes, in a moment of joy, that what they are seeking does exist, in the fictional world they are exploring.

Because the fictional world branches off, however loosely, from our own realm, it gives the reader hope that this same fulfillment may exist in reality. In this consolation, we recognize that all that came before the eucatastrophe was a necessary component to bringing it about – suffering, joys and all. This consolation helps us to return from our all-to-brief incursion into this fictional world and continue on.

Four elements coming together: when a good story happens

My favorite example of all four of these elements – done well - is also from Tolkien (surprise!).

At the end of the trilogy, there is the trilogy’s eucatastrophe. Life in the Shire is beginning to go back to the way it should be, although different from before the Quest. Sam is courting Rose and Frodo is beginning to long for the Grey Havens. And the night that the elves promised Frodo – when he stopped in Rivendell for the last time – the night when they go to the sea for the Grey Havens, finally comes. Sam, Pippin and Merry are all there to say goodbye to Gandalf, Frodo and the elves. It seems almost too much to bear – one would think that of all people, Frodo would be the one who should receive the benefits. Even Sam doesn’t understand: “‘But’, said Sam, and tears started in his eyes, ‘I thought you were going to enjoy the Shire, for years and years, after all you have done.’”

But Frodo has to leave, as do the elves and Gandalf. It is a moment of parting that tears at everyone, even the reader. After all that they have gone through, they still aren't spared this pain of separation. But as the lonely three friends return to the Shire, even before the arrive, they are already feeling happy – although it is not explained. And when Sam returns home to Rose, he has Eleanor (their daughter) in his arms and announces that he is back. And there, the story is over.

But we, as readers, are left with the knowledge that although the fellowship has suffered so much, even this painful separation, they have succeeded. Sam now gets to live the life he has always wanted, in peace and prosperity. The world, and especially the Shire, has been saved. The ‘homey’ life that we see expressed in the hobbits is saved. And we realize that this has been the goal of the entire story – this is why the three friends are not perpetually sorrowful at their separation from Frodo. Moreover, it gives us a hope that this happy ending, even in its pain, can happen here. We leave with the knowledge that this can happen and the hope that we can help bring it about.

Why horror is bad fiction

Horror, I would submit, takes these four elements and turns them inside out – failing most importantly with the element of consolation.

The first problem with horror is that it doesn’t create its own world. Thats the key to horror – we get scared because the world that is created is purposely meant to resemble reality as closely as possible. Our first hint that these fictions aren’t meant to console us is that they aren’t trying to draw us away from the sorrows of the world (so much for the element of fantasy).

On the note of extolling values or virtues – where does horror stand? One might contend that horror movies show the courage of people in the face of terrible adversity. But the problem is that horror (especially in recent horror movies) fails to emphasize even this value. The focus of horror is the terrible things the antagonist does, the things the protagonists must endure and do (or how they end up being killed) and, more and more frequently, there is a revelation at the end of the movie that the evils of the movie are going to continue, despite the main antagonist being defeated or even killed.

Its probably self-evident that the element of escape isn’t even present in horror movies. Without an imagined world made to be better than reality, what is the good that horror present for readers to seek out?

But the greatest wrong of horror is its failure to bring about any kind of hope in the reader for something better in reality. Where is the joy of the reader (moviegoer) that the presented values can be found in reality? Its hard to even imagine that a well-balanced person would want the values presented in the real world.

Despair: the undercurrent of horror movies

I think the latest movie that really underscores all of this for me is the movie series “Saw”. The basic premise of the movies – as I understand it – is that the bad guy puts a bunch of people (whom he thinks deserve to suffer and die) in situations where they must mutilate themselves or others in order to get free. The horror is in the fact of the whole idea and also in what the protagonists end up doing.

The movies series delight in gruesome situations and terrifying decisions. Its all the more horrible because each evil bit is possible (if not necessarily plausible). The depths of human depravity are flaunted in the antagonist’s (the bad guy) actions, the failures of human fortitude in the decisions of the protagonists (the ‘good’ guys).

In the end, what does this all leave us with? What is the ultimate value that we are left with? Its despair – despair that the world has anything good, despair that we can find any solace in the world. The worst is that in horror, there is an implicit acceptance of the viewer that this is entertainment. If stories are meant to leave us with a particular value - and they are - then horror stories are quite the perversion. How much worse, then, if we are turning to horror movies - becoming less and less sensitive to the depravities and despair until we make it a part of ourselves.

Stories: the soul's movement from the world to the Good

Its not hard for me to imagine that at this point (supposing that you've read this far!), you're thinking that I've managed to jump off the deep end and take stories just a little too seriously.

The thing is that as Christians, we have our own story that we constantly repeat and look to. From Genesis to Revelation, the story of salvation history - of God's plan to bring humanity back to union with Him - is the ultimate in fairy-stories. And the amazing thing about the eucatastrophe in this story is that we don’t have to return from the story to the world to look for it longingly. This story is more than fiction – it is a promise to make that eucatastrophe reality.

If stories have no real impact – if fiction is firmly neutral and has no sway over our hopes or despairs – then why do we place so much value on this story? And why do we place so much stock in the stories of people who have lived and died for this story – those faithful saints who have used their lives to witness to this story? Their witness speaks to the value of the story. Our recognition of their witness speaks to the value of the story.

Seven capitol sins and two deadly sins

There are seven capitol sins (unfortunately publicized through a rather horrific film): lust, gluttony, sloth, pride, avarice, envy and wrath. However, there are two deadly sins: presumption and despair.

As Catholics we believe that all sins can be forgiven save sin against the Holy Spirit: the sin of refusing to ask the Lord for forgiveness. In His great love for us, He respects our free will to the extent that He will never force Himself upon us. Now can you imagine which of those nine sins above push us to refuse to ask for the Lord's love and forgiveness? The seven capitol sins can lead us to them, but it is the two deadly sins that turn us so wholly from the Lord.

Presumption is the sin of believing that no matter what one does, the Lord will forgive (or already has forgiven) us. It is so strong that one never even bothers to ask. It would be as if you trusted the love of your mother so much that you always treated her poorly: taking her things, insulting her, failing to have anything to do with her outside of your own uses for her. Sure, she loves you, but you have stopped loving her because all of your interest has turned inward, presuming that your mother will simply wipe away past transgressions.

Despair is the other extreme. It is the utter conviction of a person that they can never be forgiven, never be redeemed. Such is their belief that they refuse to ask for forgiveness, despite any and all evidence to the contrary. It would be as if you hurt your mother in some way and then refused to believe that she would forgive you. Even though she calls you, invites you over and begs you to be with her, you refuse to come because you are too wrapped up in your own self-loathing to see or react to her love.

Guarding our souls, fostering our hope

I've said before that everything we do has an effect on others, no matter how insignificant or personal we think our actions are. Logically, this means that we are affected by everything around us, no matter how insignificant or passing they may be.

This doesn't mean that we need to scrupulously examine each and every thing in the world for its value. It does mean, though, that we need to be aware of what we allow to influence us, when we are aware of the potential for influence. It means avoiding the bad and seeking the good. Sometimes good things use bad things to point to greater goods (the suffering woman who becomes more dependent on God, for example). But nothing that extols the bad or relies solely on evil things to provide cheap entertainment or point out some tiny good is really worthy of our attention.

As the October 31st gets closer - and terrifying and horrific movies are presented again and again to us - lets take a good hard look at what we are letting influence us and what values we are embracing (even implicitly) in the entertainment offerings around us. Lets make sure that everything that we let enter in will help us to enter more fully into the hope that Christ has given us through His part in the continuing story of God's plan of salvation for mankind.

Have a wonderful All-Saints day this month - lets allow those who have gone before us fill us with hope for the future joy that they witnessed to in their lives.

Peace,
Jacob Maurer

The beginning of a new year

2006-09-06T17:47:00.000-05:00

Name that saint! Who could he be? The patron saint of those beheaded - the Catholic vision of the headless horseman? It turns out that there was an awesome thunderstorm on campus a few days before the retreat. Lightning came down on his head and cleanly made a martyr of the saint. I wonder what exactly he did up in heaven to deserve this?

Its nice to be back at the seminary. I really enjoyed being in Mexico, but its a real joy to be back. In the spring quarter of last year, all of my classmates were out on internship. Its great to see them again as well.

A neat bit, as well, was a welcome visit from my parents. Because of the schedule of my parents jobs, they aren't able to make it to the annual family day here at the seminary. As it was, they could only be here for a couple days. Nonetheless, it was wonderful to show them the seminary, introduce them to my friends and just spend time with them.

Both being down in Mexico with another family - as well as spending this time with my folks - made me appreciate how close I am with my parents. It wasn't always that way - as a teenager I squirmed quite a bit when I had to be around my parents. Well, not a lot. Being in Boy Scouts with my father was great. We joined specifically so we could go camping together - and we did that until I moved out. My mom and I didn't have that kind of friendship until I started homeschooling. Through that I realized that my mom was a normal person. Turns out that mothers are people too. Who knew?

Anyway, it was great to see them. I definitely miss being able to spend whole days with my family at home. Not that I want to move back (independence has its perks!) but hanging out with my family is fun: spending the evenings playing board games (no tv there!), talking or just all of us reading in the living room next to the fireplace with our cats roaming from lap to lap. Sound cool? It is!

Speaking of cool (thats my family!), my mom recently added (or re-introduced) a particular cool-ness to the clan. A ways back, she inherited a moped from my grandmother. Mid-summer, she was told that she couldn't ride it on certain roads. Unfortunately, my mom had fallen in love with riding the moped. But she couldn't ride it to work (shes an organist at the church a few miles away).

Not to be deterred, she announced that she was going to buy a motorcycle. My father once had a motorcyle, but was told unequivocally (by mom!) that it was too dangerous for a father to have. Yeah. That mom now has a motorcycle. And my brother - now implicitly receiving permission via my mother's example - has also gotten his biker's license and a motorcycle of his own.

My dad will be getting his license and probably his own bike shortly.

So, in closing, I leave you with a shot of two of the soon-to-be trio of the Maurer Clan Biker Gang. We're brainstorming on a cool name to put on the back of the leather jackets so that when they're cruising together they have the whole matching jacket thing going.

Maybe I should take motorcycle lessons too? You know, just in case.....

Deo gratia!
Jacob Maurer

P.S. I've had a whole slew of reflections chasing eachother around in my head. Unfortunately I think I'm going to be busy with school and all that jazz. But I'm going to list my ideas here so that later on I can come back and go 'Oh yeah! I wanted to write about x'. Topics for later reflection: "The dignity of a person: reflecting on how our dress & behavior reflects God", "Laughter - how jokes can be bad even when they're good", "Stories about Bessie (look for this one!)"

P.P.S. The name of the saint, by the way (I knew I was forgetting something here) is Saint Pascal Baylon. I don't know much about him - nothing, in fact - but his name will probably be burned into my mind forever because of his post-mortem beheading.

Week-long silent retreat

2006-08-27T11:54:00.000-05:00

Just a short post to let you all know that we at Mundelein are going on a 5-day silent retreat, starting tonight and ending Friday afternoon. Please keep us all in prayer as we prepare ourselves for a new year at the seminary.

Also, my folks are traveling this week, visiting family in the mid-west and then coming out to visit me here at the seminary. If you'd send up a little prayer for them and their safety as well, that would be awesome.

Deo gratia!

- Jacob Maurer

A week later and he's still waving?

2006-07-31T17:40:00.000-05:00

Yes, and yet...I'm surprisingly full of energy. Ahh, the vitality of youth!

So, it has come to my attention that I haven't really spent time posting much of, well, anything. By implication you can deduce that I'm having a great time in Mexico and perhaps enjoying life away from the virtual world!

Still, the 'waving Jacob' is perhaps not as interesting as reflections and pictures so I am going to relegate this particular relic to a lower part of the blog (and eventually, to blog heaven - where all posts are read daily and treasured for their intrinsic worth...whatever that may be!).

This, as you may have guessed by now, is not really much of a reflection as a semi-update, which does include a few minor blog related house details.

First and foremost, I have (finally!) added some new photos to my Flickr account. A couple of teachers invited me on a trip this weekend and we made whirlwind trip through three pueblos, which resulted in about 100 pictures. About twenty that were usable (such is the way when you're using a digital camera).

You might notice that I've made a new set dedicated solely to churches. For some reason I find myself attracted to Catholic churches, temples and chapels (go figure!). As such, I have taken an inordinate amount of pictures of them. Since they were dominating my photo collection, I decided that the appropriate response would be to relegate them to their proper corner - until they realized the error of their ways and apologized. In any case, enjoy the pictures - and don't forget to click on them (if you're in the slideshow mode) and read the comments and histories.

Why this is '21st Century Catholic'

As my cousin was kind enough to point out, I have made the mistake of saying 'Meandering thoughts of a Roman Catholic seminarian born in the 21st century'.

For the record, I am NOT six years old, despite what my friends and family have to say about my maturity. In terms of maturity, I am at least an adolescent (late teens, I might add). In terms of age I'm mbbfghmm years old. So there!

"21st Century"

Why '21st Century Catholic', then? A couple things, I suppose. This first is that its a catchy name. As a child of the 20th century, I'm well aware that a name like 'What Jacob thinks about theology, the Church, day-to-day activity and maybe a few random things to boot' would chase away potential readers quicker than a mouse from a cat with salsa-flavored breath (Mexico on the mind here folks).

More to that though, I think that a 21st Century Catholic implies a few things. The foremost is that (maybe obviously?), we all share the common context of being in the 21st century. Whatever your titles (mother, Catholic, doctor, et cetera) you have to carry that identity within the context of the current age. I hope that the title conveys that common struggle which anyone who hopes to maintain some footing in life in the face of a world that constantly threatens to sweep you away if you let it.

That leads me, of course, to the Catholic bit. A grammatical fact of English is that the last word (following a list of adjectives, that is) is the one that is the most important. This has its own implications. For example, are you a Catholic American or an American Catholic? And how does that play itself out when the two happen to be in conflict?

21st Century "Catholic"

With the title of 21st century Catholic, theres an assertion of that Catholic identity - an identity that is within the 21st century, but not necessarily defined by it. As Catholics, we have to sift through the good and the bad that is offered to us (or shoved upon us!) by the current age. Not all of that is bad, but nor is it all good.

I am also well aware that many folks consider the Catholic Church to be an antiquated, monolithic, male-dominated, right-wing institution bent on controlling the actions of people with no regard to their personal rights. And on the other end of that spectrum are the folks who consider the Church to have strayed from Her roots and embraced society in all of its facets, losing sight of its mission from the Lord and allowing for a creeping disintegration of all that was once held true.

The title is meant to strike a chord in anyone who holds their Catholic identity as something important to who they are. What does it mean to be a Catholic within this new century? How are we supposed to adapt to the world around us; what goods are present that we can take fuller advantage of and what evils are there must be distinguished from those goods?

Thus: 21st Century Catholic

I won't mislead you and say that I'm without an opinion in all of these things (and if you'd read this blog at all, you already know this). But the point, really, is to both acknowledge that this dichotomy exists and then - most importantly - address how it helps us faithfully grow in our relationship to God. I like to think I'm balanced in my approach as well as open to things that are new or I haven't considered. That also means being able to take criticism when we aren't fair in those things we consider, a hard thing, I must admit.

It also helps to laugh a bit at some of the silliness of this dichotomy and the world in general. Who wants to be serious and stuffy all the time, despite the importance of being so sometimes? Thus, by the way, the goofy stuff you may find here as well.

'nuff said.

On the theme of embracing the the good things of the current age, I wanted to put up a few things that I most definitely recommend.

Internet
Of the internet, there are two places that I wholeheartedly recommend to anyone who is looking for goodness in general or in person.

The first is an online Catholic forum - which I recommend with a caveat. Like any online forum you will encounter people (ack!), which means that there is always the potential for bad things to happen. Prudence in both what you say, what you read and who you associate with is always a necessity online. The moderators of the forum are both wonderfully generous in permitting freedom of speech and mercilessly quick to cut short conversations that are clearly leading to, well, badness. Nonetheless, be prudent.

The site is http://forums.catholic.org - 'Catholic Online Forums'.

The second is a Catholic reviewer of movies. His name is Steven Graydanus and his reviews are funny, insightful and thought-provoking. Anytime there is a movie that I'm interested in, I always check out what he has to say about it. If he doesn't review it, it usually isn't worth seeing.

The site is http://www.decentfilms.com - 'Decentfilms'.

Movies
Of movies, I simply have far too much to suggest, so I'm only going for a few for now. Check out Steven Graydanus' website for a more complete review of each!

For anyone who wants a good, fun (clean!) movie for just about everybody (some action scenes may be too much for very young kids), the must see is The Princess Bride. To not see it is positively un-American - almost Communist.

Of recent movies - for a more mature and thought-provoking fare - I find myself compelled to recommend the move Crash. This is most definitely not for youngsters. Period. Double Period.

Yes, I'm recommending a rated 'R' movie, which is an adults-only fare. There are most definitely wrenching scenes, explicit content (limited, mind you, but enough) and language that simply needs to be approached with caution and maturity. Parents of teenagers, watch the movie first and then decide if your kids are ready for this. There are some wonderful themes to reflect on and discuss, but some of the content is quite raw.

Excellent viewing for absolutely anybody are the movies by Pixar, Inc. No, I'm not paid to say that (yes, I will accept payment!). These are top-of-the-line, wonderful animated movies that everybody and their grandmother can see and enjoy. My favorite is The Incredibles. Watch them all and choose your own!

Books
Hey, if you spend all of your time on the internet or watching television, you simply haven't lived. Books are the best. Assuming that the Bible is number one on the list, here are few of my favorites.

The Lord of the Rings. Classic, good, and yes, they DO have Catholic themes (despite not being explicitly Catholic). Why, you ask, am I convinced of this? Well, Tolkien says this himself - read The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien for more on that.

The Great Divorce. C.S. Lewis is a heavy hitter in the realm of Christian books and I could go on all day about his books. This, however, is one of his best - and quite short for those who want an easy and quick read. The story is of a busride from Hell to Heaven. Those who take the trip are faced with their own sins and the terrible choice between letting go of the things that they think are most important or returning to Hell. Sound boring? Only because I lack the skill of Lewis. Buy it (2 copies), read it and share it.

You have been so commanded. No go forth and read, surf and watch a good movie - always, of course, with the discerning mind of (I have to say it!) a 21st century Catholic!

Peace!
- Jacob Maurer

Nothing to see here....move along

2006-07-21T09:30:00.000-05:00

Cheesy amateur animations: the next best thing to a webcam...

Really nothing significant here for the vast majority of visitors this time around. This is here specifically to cheer up one person (maybe make that person's day?). This person knows who he or she is.

Unfortunately, because the internet encompasses millions, if not billions of people, the odds are against you, dear reader, being that one person. Maybe this will make you smile anyway. But you can still help!

Please offer a quick prayer for "the person Jacob is trying to cheer up" - yes, really. You already said "Hi" to God (you did do that, didn't you?) - I'm positive He'd be happy to hear from you again and I know He has a thing about answering prayers.

To that one person (boy this vague-ness thing takes work!), I hope you're doing well. God bless you and know of our prayers!

Gods grace, peace & joy to all of you.
- Jacob Maurer

Why priesthood?

2006-07-15T00:50:00.000-05:00

Regarding stories

One of the things people love to hear is the story of another. It is an easy way to learn something of the character of a person. It is also a way to learn various truths. At times, a story even needs to be invented to provide the context to better explore certain truths. And of course, sometimes a story is just a story – told for the joy of hearing the adventure.

J.R.R. Tolkien said that ultimately, a story is told to remind us of the good things that are missing in life. Stories, he goes on, are not only told to satisfy a need to escape the harshness of life, but ultimately to give us hope that we can both encounter and be part of the good in the world – eventually being led to that ultimate good that is God. [a wonderful talk he gave is called “On Fairy-stories”, which is a thoughtful reflection on this very idea]

A vocation story is something that explicitly holds this appeal. Real human experience is touched by the movement of our human & Divine Lord. What is important in a vocation story, however, is not the subject or person of the story, but that movement of God in the story.

Everyone has a vocation story – it is your life story, after all! As men aspiring to be priests, seminarians are required to dwell on their vocation story. Even before being accepted into a diocese or an order – much less the seminary – they are asked to reflect and write on how they have come to the decision to enter the seminary.

I would propose that this is an exercise that anyone and everyone can benefit from. Taking an hour (that’s a starting point – you’ll need more!), place yourself in front of the Lord and reflect on where you came from, who you are and where you seem to be headed.

What has your life been like? What are the things, people and events in your past that have made you who you are? Who are you – and how do you see yourself becoming more of who you are supposed to be? How do you see God’s hand in all of this – and is there a pattern or direction that He is moving you towards? Where do you think, both in this life and ultimately, God is calling you?

These types of questions are the kinds that fill a lifetime – and a life used discerning the answers is a life well-spent.

Below is my vocation story. I offer it not as a testament to me – a conceit that would well miss the point of discernment – but as a limited view of God’s action in my life. I hope that after reading it, you look to His hand in your life. Although God has worked wonders for me, He does the same for all.

How I came to be in the seminary (a vocation story)

My parents were married in October of 1981. My mother (an organist) and my father (an engineer) met in a parish where my mom played the organ and my father sang in the choir. They met in the Church, the married in the Church & they went on to raise us in the Church. A selling point, I think, for any family.

I was born just over a year later, in the winter of 1982. In fact, my father was laid off shortly after my mom found out she was pregnant (a week after - and our small family faced a rather uncertain future. To keep us afloat, my father joined the military. He had a bachelor's degree, which meant he immediately became an officer (after training, of course). He would also be able to study for his Master's degree while in the Navy. This could keep us on our feet until a more desirable job could be found.

Only it wasn’t found – and although he disliked the environment, my father had to stay in longer than he expected. However, in a deal made with God (and my mom), he decided that unless a very particular position (that he liked and really wanted) opened up, he would be heading out of the military as soon as possible. He was two weeks shy of the maximum age for the job & his eyesight wasn't quite up to par, so there was a very good chance he would be passed over for the position. But he placed the challenge in front of God: if He wanted us to stay in the military, this is how it would be. God heard him.

The position opened up and – in a decision that would shape all of us – he decided to stay in the military as a career.

There are many careers that challenge the structure and stability of a family. Any military career falls into this category. We moved to a new duty station every three years, packing all of our things, saying goodbye to familiar places and friends and starting over in a new and unfamiliar place.

This could have had a number of bad effects on our family – and at times, it did. But it had a great number of good effects. We came together as a family, for one. We were all that we had as we bounced from place to place. Oh yes, we had (and still have) friendships – many that persevere even to the present – but after three years, those had to be maintained over long distances, or brought to a close. Often this constant newness was refreshing, but without that firm family base, we could have easily fallen apart. I certainly can testify to many neighboring military families that struggled with this very problem.

The changing face of the Maurer clan

In spring of 1984, my first brother was born. No longer an only child, I learned (oh-so-very slowly) how to be a brother and a friend to him. As anyone with siblings knows, this is a (life) long process.

Nearly six years later, my folks decided to adopt. It was in this way that a sister was added to our family. As any adopting family or adoptee can tell you, this has its own proper challenges. My sister was five when she came to us, and so we had to learn to adapt to who she was and help her adapt to us. Turbulent at times, rewarding at others.

Through a fluke in the adoption agency, we found out that our name was still on the list of those waiting to adopt. Just over a month before we were to move to the Philippines – our first overseas duty station as a family – my father received the call.

“Mr. Maurer, we have a child for you…” This was unexpected and – quite frankly – unwelcome. My father said as much. But the boy, they said, was already known to be both mentally and physically handicapped. If you don’t adopt, they said, it is very possible that no one will.

But we were going to the Philippines! Who knew what care facilities would be available? And with 30 days before we left, how could the mountain of paperwork ever be done (my sister’s adoption took about a year)? And it costs money to adopt. But after much discussion and prayer (my mother liked the idea of a baby in the house again), my parents placed a challenge before the adoption agency and God. If you can clear all of the red tape and paperwork before we leave, we’ll adopt him.

That settled it, they thought: an impossible request as the perfect excuse.

Apparently, however, God has His own way with red tape, because my folks received the call within the time frame. Thus was added another son to our family.

Looking back on my sister’s and my youngest brother’s entrance into the family, it is clear that they changed us, for the better. We had to learn to adapt not just to new surroundings – like any mobile family – but to changes within. My sister’s entrance forced to adapt to that and my brother’s entrance furthered that.Their coming into our lives helped us learn to be better people (and of course, we like to think that this was reciprocated!)

My youngest brother, by the way, was given an awful sentence by the doctors. He would never, they said, walk, talk or wholly function. God responded to their challenge. My brother learned to walk – with the assistance of braces and bruises, at first. He learned to talk – not once, but three times (having forgotten twice) and function. As a young teenager, he still has serious needs, but he is a whole person, thanks be to God. His challenges and development helped to further our own faith in God’s action and providence for him and us.

Living abroad

The move to the Philippines was cut short (nine months, instead of a year) when the U.S. decided to withdraw. We moved from there to Singapore, where we lived for a few months before returning to the United States. Living in another country is an eye-opening experience. Mount Pinatubo had exploded shortly before we arrived in the Philippines, and had spread ash everywhere. Those were hard times for the country and people suffered. Even as middle-class Americans, we lived like kings in comparison to many. And the culture was an entirely different thing altogether.

Singapore was a near-opposite. Very clean, structured and formal. A solid economy and a very strong sense of honor and behavior. I don’t remember much of the country, but this culture overall left a strong impression on me.

We moved back to the U.S., where we lived in Virginia for three years. As kids, we were just hitting the teenage years, and began to (finally!) band together. Mutually disliked bullies and common friends brought us together like never before. Although more years would be necessary to cement it, we started being friends in Virginia.

Putting it all together

Our final duty station was in Hawaii. We lived there for three years and it was there that I began to put together some of the pieces of a calling. Hawaii, as you may have heard, is a wonderful place to live and – coupled with the joy of teenage self-discovery and growing freedom – it was the perfect place to flourish for me and my siblings.

Something significant that you may have figured out - but is worth saying explicitly – concerning how my mother’s job and my father’s job mixed. My mom, although a staunch Catholic (we all are, recall), almost always worked for Protestant churches. The simple fact is that they generally pay what an organist is worth. Now my folks had most definitely raised us to be Catholic, and consequently we observed the obligation to attend Sunday Mass. But we also supported my mother by being present at the church she played at every Sunday for as long as she was there, playing.

Thus, we went to the Saturday Vigil Mass and attended between two and four Protestant services each week. Not wanted to be attending the same service over & over, we would join the Protestant choirs, youth groups and gatherings. Thus did our Catholic family become more involved in Protestant churches than in Catholic churches. Recall that we moved every three years - we became acquainted with a great deal of Protestant churchs, and thus, beliefs.

Protestants, contrary to often-popular opinion, are not 100% anti-Catholic. Some are, more and more are not, especially nowadays. But they were curious, and so we would discuss our faith. The fact of the matter is that most of our friends came from these churches. Our long-term family friends have almost always been pastors or choir directors – and their families – that my mom worked with and my dad sang with. Many (most) of them are still friends today – years and years later. We aren't friends in spite of our differences in faith, but because we share a common zeal for what we believe. The differences offered & offer all of us a chance to grow in our knowledge of our faith.

From our youth groups we would come home with questions. At the dinner table or after dinner we would talk religion, politics and sexual ethics. What do we believe and why? The catechism, the Bible and history books were fair game and we truly learned our faith. Then we would return to the youth group, loaded to bear with answers and promptly come back with more questions.

This growth in our faith was supplemented by my parent’s decision to home school while we were in Hawaii. My sister needed some extra help that the school couldn't provide and my youngest brother was simply not receiving the attention that his needs demanded. When my other brother and I saw how flexible home schooling was (start at 6AM, finish by noon), we petitioned to be home schooled. Given the low academic standards of public high school and the surprising amount of anti-white racism in our area, they agreed. The program was Catholic and we continued to learn about our faith.

Say what?!?

Within this context, in Hawaii, my brother and I were offered the unique opportunity to accompany the Protestant youth group on a four-day youth conference on the Big Island: Hawaii. The church considered us just short of members and because we were so active, offered us the trip along with the rest of its youth group.

I only remember bits and pieces of the conference. The overall experience, however, left me with a new sense of urgency. I had spent four days with youth of all sorts of ages who were firmly convinced of what they believed and had decided to devote their lives to that faith. Had I done the same? I needed to consciously choose my faith and start living it explicitly. So, I came home and announced this to my parents and that as a result, I wanted to join the Protestant church.

Surprised? I am sure they were.

Perhaps it didn’t come as a great shock to them, knowing that all my friends were in the Protestant church. But they insisted that I discuss this with the pastor of the Protestant church and our local parish priest. Since I wanted to be Protestant, I went there first.

The conversation we had wasn’t terribly long. In the course of our discussion it became obvious to me that what I knew to be true and what this church held to were not the same things. The sacraments – especially the Eucharist and confession, homosexuality, a universal church instituted by Christ and objective truth were points of divergence. So I left knowing that despite being my point of conversion, this wasn’t where I ultimately belonged.

I suppose that I knew that I was going to be Catholic, and for this reason put off talking to our parish priest. But my parents wanted a balanced decision and insisted once again that I talk with him. Some time later – months later – I dropped by the office.

Father Robert Phelps – a discalced Franciscan priest (who wore sandals – which I thought and continue to think is the neatest thing in the world) was an easily approached man. Although not entirely at ease in his presence, I was not terribly uncomfortable either.

We talked about Catholicism for a while. Since I had already made my decision, albeit subconsciously, that wasn’t a large part of our conversation. Things really got going when I noticed some football paraphernalia. Was it possible, I wondered, that a priest was a normal man, as well?

I must have asked the question, because the next thing I remember is talking about him and his priesthood. Turns out that he was, in many ways, a normal man! He wrote poetry, in the confessional, of all places, when no one came to confession. One hilarious poem, which he read to me, was titled “I’m falling asleep in the confessional”. We talked for what I remember as hours. What did he do as a priest? Why was he a priest? What was it like? I walked away wondering if, perhaps, I could also be a priest – living out my newfound faith in the way that he did.

I told my parents about my decision to be Catholic and my musings to be a priest. Being 13, and having recently swung between Protestantism and Catholicism, I’m sure that they took that with a healthy dose of salt. But it didn’t go away.

Of course, I continued being a normal kid. I was in Boy Scouts (what an excellent program), I was the editor for our home schooling group’s newspaper. I delivered newspapers, mowed lawns and babysat in order earn money.

When we moved to Washington (the state where we now live), three years later, the idea persevered. So I approached our parish priest and he took me in as a spiritual directee. After a year meeting with him monthly, working on the parish council, being involved in the youth group, being confirmed and even meeting some seminarians (generally a cool group), we agreed that the next step was to approach the archdiocese of Seattle and look into being a seminarian. So I did and after no small amount of interviews and soul-searching, I entered the seminary.

That was nearly six years ago. By the grace of God and the authority of the archbishop, I will be ordained for the archdiocese of Seattle in 2009.

This has been and continues to be the work of God in my life. I can say without reservation that it is a joy to explore and discover His will for my life, especially in an environment like the seminary. And no matter where He is calling me in this life – to the priesthood or elsewhere – I stand firm in the assurance that He will be with me as my guide, shepherd and friend.

Losing - and winning - with grace

2006-07-06T18:38:00.000-05:00

As you may already know, the results of Mexico's presidential election were officially announced today. Felipe Caldarón won by just over half of a percent. The other major contendor, Andrés Manuel López Obrador, is promising to take the election to court. He asserts fraud on a nationwide level.

This sounds terribly familiar, and of course, it should. In the presidential election of 2000, between Al Gore and George W. Bush, the entire nation was subjected to the same shtick. In my home state of Washington, the elections for governor (Christine Gregoire and Dino Rossi) ran the same way. In the presidential election, the losers didn't prevail in overcoming the proper election process. In my home state of Washington, they did.

Re-count. Its a word that many of us (all?) have come to hate. Here in Mexico, however, it doesn't hold the same sway on people. I suspect that it is because they have more faith in their system - I am sure that they don't (yet?) know the frustrations of the word.

Over the last few weeks, the World Cup has slowly approached its culmination. This Sunday will be the final showdown of this year, between France and Italy. Watching the games has been fun, as well as a nice opportunity to hone my ability to understand Spanish (although 'GOOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLL' is pretty universal).

Now as many of my friends will tell you - especially the more athletic ones - I am not very much into sports. This has its own proper consequences for me, although if the second ice age ever comes, I will be more prepared for hibernation than they will (so there!). I have tried to explain to my dislike of sports, but with mixed success.

Sports are basically a battle. Not a kill or be killed battle, but at times just short of that (hockey, anyone?). There is a fine line that players must walk: they must either look at the game as a friendly way to compete in a sport that they love or they risk falling into the trap of smashing down their opponents in an effort to dominate them. Such a tightrope walk requires a strong sense of responsibility and firm character. I often marvel at many amatuer sports men & women who lack this (the stereotypical soccer mom). Quite frankly, many professional sports players lack even the vestiges of an attempt at the former and fall directly into the latter.

But the point is to win, right?

Well, yes. If I play a sport, I want to win - and I'm not going to anything less than my best, even if that means that they may lose heart at losing. And frankly, when you approach a game, you'd better darn well be able to lose - and do so without losing your temper or your self-confidence. What kind of competition is it if you don't do your best?

And herein lies our problem - the problem that everybody faces, I'm sure. Watching the World Cup, in every game I've watched, quite a few of the players in the losing teams have completely lost their composure. And this is understandable, to some extent. They've strived to get this far and the further you get, the more heartbreaking it is when you fail to reach the goal. Even moreso when you're entire life is invested in a particular sport.

But imagine what could have been. What if, instead of falling to the ground crying, the players of the losing teams had greeted the players of the winning teams with heartfelt congratulations and full composure. Sure, there will be regrets and perhaps tears, but what if those had been reserved for a private time, when those could be done without dishonoring your own efforts and especially the work of your competition? What if?

My family lived in Singapore a number of years back, and then for mere months. During that time, we were given strick admonishments on how we were to behave. Spitting in public, for example, would attract the police (to this day, I don't spit in public...). We were impressed enough that my folks wouldn't allow us kids to go anywhere without them - although at ten years old or younger, this wasn't a bad idea anyway.

The story that got us, I think, was about an American woman who behaved poorly in the primary bank that served the United States military in Singapore. Assuming the stereotypical role of an American tourist, she proceeded to get very rude and belligerent when faced with some (apparently?) unsatisfactory service. She was treated with all kindness and eventually got what she was looking for - if I'm not mistaken, the higher-ups of the bank served her themselves.

But thats not the end of the story. After she left, the powers-that-be of the bank called the powers-that-be of the military. A full apology would be offered by this woman to the bank and she would never come here again, or there would be consequences regarding the bank's continued availability to the military. Just like that, she was told (told, mind you, and by the military, not the bank) that she would do that - just before the military shipped her and her family back to the states.

I don't know if that is just a story they told us, I'm not even sure I have all the details right (I was ten, remember)[*see note below]. But the idea behind it has had a huge impact on me. The bank manager was in a bad position - presented with the rudeness of a foreigner, he could have easily threw up his hands and begun yelling. He (she?) didn't. Instead he kept his composure - his bosses kept their composure - and treated her with dignity. Then, with the same composure, I imagine, they went and made sure that such an indignation would never happen again.

They both lost (in the immediate argument) with grace and they won (in the bigger picture) with grace. No name-calling, no debasing themselves to the level of a base opponent. The picture of dignity.

Winning with grace

Obviously, winning isn't everything. And if you win, you must (not just the politically correct 'should') hold the temptation to lord it over another completely in check. If you lose, you should lose doing your best - and if an injustice has been committed, you should give your most prudent and best efforts to correcting that injustice.

But in all cases, we have to comport ourselves with dignity - honoring ourselves - and respect for others - honoring their dignity. And its not easy, not easy at all. A conversation can easily be sport of choice, where one person forcibly overcomes another. Getting that last word in is satisfying - so is laughing at another rather than engaging them.

Suddenly religion and politics (or religion and sports, for that matter), don't seem so far apart. It takes a real man, a real woman, to come into the field of any competition and do their part to maintain the dignity of all involved. Competition is not inherently bad, but it does inherently challenge our ability to do this.

Which is where grace from without comes in - grace from the Lord. What is every competing person comported his or her self with grace? That would be great - and it would mean that they were placing themselves in the hands of God, asking Him for the grace to be grace-ful.

2008 is the upcoming presidential election for the United States of America. Will the competing candidates have grace? And in our day-to-day interactions - both about these & other polarizing issues, as well our normal competitions - will we have grace? There's someone waiting to offer you that grace, if you find yourself lacking.

Peace - and grace,
Jacob
[*My father (hi Dad!), was kind correct the story - which is true (!). The story is basically correct, but for the corrections, look at the comments (which are always interesting anyway]

Lightshow!

2006-07-03T09:38:00.000-05:00

The elections went through yesterday, without any incidents. However, the results won't be officially available until Wednesday, although speculation is rampant.

Last night we were treated to quite a thunderstorm here in Mexico, which I am happy to say is not uncommon. I tried to capture some lightening on camera, but was only partially successful. This, by the way, is the view from my room, which is greatly enhanced by the furious summer storms here in Morelia.

Peace,
Jacob

Morelia: week 1 ("Oh Lord, where am I!")

2006-06-30T18:45:00.000-05:00

Well, my first full week here at Morelia, Mexico is drawing to a close. I think that the first days of any new place (or re-visited old place) are . . . . interesting. Practical advice from someone who knows? When in doubt, less salsa is better - no matter how much you like salsa and think you can handle it. (Stay tuned for more practical advice in Mexico).

Ironically, being in Mexico has gotten me thinking a lot about the United States. Here I am, a rather blatantly caucasion American spending two months in Mexico learning Spanish. Granted, I have a passable grasp of Spanish and - if I keep my mouth shut - I can pass for an American-ish Mexican. (Really! Someone asked me for directions just this week, which I not only understood, but could actually give. Eat your heart out, Fr. Matteo Ricci!)

Yet one thing that strikes me now - and when I was here two years ago - is the generosity with which Mexicans treat me and my fellow students from the United States. I have struggled so many times to form a complete sentence or get an idea out that I simply knew in English, but could barely articulate in Spanish.

People suggest words, gently guess and smile patiently when I tell them that I am a jelly donut (an urban legend about JFK, I should point out). And the family that I live with has not only graciously invited me into their home, but does their best to accomodate me and help me blunder my way through the city.

On the flip side, I try to do my best to be the anti-typical American during my time here in Mexico. I eat everything that is put in front of me - not a hard feat if you like spicy food - and I am careful in my words, behaviors and attitudes.

What is striking about my time here in Mexico is the contrast with a Mexican's time in America. A good friend whom I respect once commented to me that there is no reason why American should try to accommodate Mexicans, after all, if he was in Mexico, they wouldn't try to accommodate us!

Au contraire!

Certainly I believe that when you are in another country, you should begin to learn the native language (and eventually finish). Certainly there needs to be some modicum of conformity to the culture that you are in. Certainly there are expectations that need to be met. Not unreasonable requirements.

But it doesn't take many fingers in the wind to sense that there is a particular sentiment of anti-immigration in the United States. Specifically, that Americans have no obligation to do anything for immigrants. Would you be surprised to hear that my aforementioned friend told me this during a Mass, where we were simply singing a song in Spanish (a small concession, one might think)?

What interests me is that in Mexico, people go out of their way to accommodate guests. Certainly, being an American helps - besides our generally bad reputation, it is popularly thought (if somewhat overstated) that we spend money with abandon. And although I don't dispute the presence of racism here in Mexico, I have never (yes, never!) come across racism against me while in Mexico.

You know, the Catholic Church is pretty big down here in Mexico - if only because it is deeply ingrained in the culture. It has struck me that in this manner, Mexicans perhaps realize the call more fully to be charitable to those who are need it. I don't mean to sanctify all of Mexico, or all Mexicans, but it has been and continually is interesting to compare and contrast their attitude toward us and ours toward them.

Whether American, Mexican or something else altogether, there is a universal call to charity - especially to those who are strangers in a strange land. Food for thought, and I can't say that I am innocent in this regard.....

On a different note, Mexico is about to make a rather monumental decision this Sunday. July 2nd is the date of the election of Mexico's new president. I know very little about the politics of Mexico, but the vastly different parties make it hard to think of this as anything other than earthshaking for Mexico.

Being a terribly poor country and struggling hard to make something of themselves in the brave new world, the wrong president could threaten all they have worked for. The previously dominant party (PRI - Partido Revolucionario Institucional) was in power for 71 years before President Fox was elected (of the PAN - El Partido de Acción Nacional). And Mexico has only been a democracy for 15 years. This Sunday, please add to your intentions this election. Although not a superpower, Mexico is very much in need of a leader who can guide their nation to self-sufficiency and stability.

On a most final note, I have heard nothing but good reviews about the just-released Superman Returns. If you were a fan of the originals (with Christopher Reeves), it is faithful enough to be both fondly nostalgic & nicely modernized. If you are a fan of the new generation, you can enjoy a revitalization of an as of late ignored superhero. Go see it - preferably with some family & friends.

You have been so commanded.

Have a wonderful weekend and a (continually!) blessed summer.

Peace,
- Jacob Maurer

P.S. If you have the time (and are interested, of course), check my Flickr slideshow link (see the sidebar) occasionally. I am working to create a slideshow of Morelia - along with the history of each place. This is a rather time-consuming undertaking (I have to read up on the city, and much of that in Spanish!). But Mexico, in general, and Morelia in particular, has a very rich history and is worth not only seeing, but reading about.

Cleaning up & adding to my online 'house'

2006-06-30T09:44:00.000-05:00

Not really a reflection, more of a set of in-house things that would take up too much of my next post!

The first is that I have updated the prayer requests section. There aren't many, but certainly (at least I think so!) they are worthy of perhaps a little time.

The second is that I have recently acquired a Flickr account. Although the service (apparently) doesn't know how to spell very well, the do have a wonderful service for hosting pictures. On the right, just below the prayer requests (did I mention that those have been updated?), is a direct link to the slideshow.

A few things about Flickr. The first is that if you click on the icon I have there, it will simply take you to the Flickr site. Since I am using their site and linking to it, it seems only fair that I promote them, however modestly. To get to my slideshow, click on the '21st Century on Flickr'.

Flickr, by the way, has a couple of neat features. I am particularly fond of the ability to make comments about each picture. However, these comments are not immediately available. When you are in a slideshow, click on the picture being displayed and the comments will be made available. This also opens up a few other options,although I haven't explored them.

Like many other online services, Flickr holds to the principle that an online community is stronger than a bunch of anonymous people using the same service. This is nice, but is not necessarily innoculous. Like MySpace - which has been in the news quite a bit lately - this can go badly if you are imprudent. Use with caution - I can not take any responsibility for what or who you may encounter beyond this website and my slideshow.

Flickr also offers some sort of option to send messages to the owner. I have done my best to disable this, but even if I have missed something, please don't send me messages there. Of those things I check through the internet, my e-mail and this blog are really it. Its just too hard to check every service I have and, to be honest, I am always just a tad bit leery of an internet acquaintance with whom I have no link to in the non-virtual world. Comments here are always welcome, however!

Finally, I came across an anomaly that may have affected anyone visiting my blog. Here in Mexico, possibly because of some font difference in these computers, I have noticed that my sidebar is being displayed below all of my posts. I hope this isn't the case for anyone, but it occurred to me that people could come to this blog and never see that sidebar.

Since I have tried to include a whole slew of neat things on the sidebar, I want to draw your attention to that now. Most significantly (after the prayer requests), I have included as many seminarian blogs as I could of seminarians that I know. I suspect that during the summer these aren't updated very often, but these are very worth visiting.

Thats all the in-house updates for now! With summer in full swing (for everyone, I should think, at this point!), I hope that you all are enjoying some well-earned vacation. God bless you!

Paz,

Jacobo

Summertime fanfare

2006-06-20T14:45:00.000-05:00

Happy summer to you all (!!) . . . . except to those of you who are still in school. Go finish those last-minute assignments and then come back!

Seminary classes ended about three weeks ago and I am spending my final week of 'official' vacation before heading down to Morelia, Mexico for an immersion program to continue learning Spanish.

The first two weeks held no diocesan events so I was able to spend that time with my family. My folks, by the way, are really quite awesome (what kind of son would I be if I couldn't talk about them?). My mom is still hopping around - more active than I am in many ways and try out new things. My dad, too, is active enough to do darn near everything he used to do before he & my mom had kids AND still beat anyone who steps up to the foosball table to challenge him. My siblings (three brothers and sister) are working now to build up their own future. The Maurer clan is fun to be around & I'm grateful for these few times to spend with them.

But my family also includes seven often times obnoxious and frustrating members. Overweight, disobedient and stupid, they require a lot of care without themselves contributing to the family. They are wooly, ignorant of propriety and know only a few things in life. . . . they are, of course, our sheep.

When people think of sheep, they often reveal the common misconception of sheep as small, clean and cute animals that you can cuddle. I am sure that somewhere, in some perfectly green pasture, these fabled sheep of old do exist. But the Maurer farm - nicknamed "Sheepy Hollow" by my mom - these legends are notably absent.

Five of the sheep we have here are Jacobs sheep - their breed's name, not a claim of ownership on my part. Jacobs sheep are like lemmings that have had too much caffeine. Extremely shy and jumpy, they also follow each other (or any sheep) around blindly. Yet a herd of Jacobs sheep are relatively easy to work with.

The trouble came in when we took in a Churro ewe (she later gave birth to our seventh sheep) – a breed with a particularly desirable wool. This sheep is smart. Over a year, she has figured out that we had used welded wire fencing. Welded wire – particularly because its low gauge – is easily broken if it is repeatedly bent....or butted. The Churro (‘Daisy’) had found a few of these holes and made many more of them. I’m not sure why she needed to get to the other side – the fence encloses an acre of grassy land and a bit of the surrounding forest. Nonetheless I spent my first two weeks finding, capturing and returning all the sheep back to the fold when they escaped (because the Jacobs sheep follow Daisy). Each day after that was accomplished – as many times as six escapes a day – I put up a hopefully sheep-proof fencing: high-gauge twisted wire fencing.

In John’s Gospel, Jesus calls Himself the Good Shepherd, which implies that we are sheep. If you have that common misconception of sheep, you may think this is a sort of compliment. I wonder if Jesus’ congregation – who did truly understand sheep – understood differently. Unintelligent, dirty and don’t know whats good for them – does that apply to us as well? Without a shepherd, they would become forever lost, at the mercy of any danger that came upon them.

Thanks be to God we have a Good (and patient) Shepherd who not only permits us to leave the pasture when we choose, but stands ready to lead us back when we find ourselves dirt and along, bleating for help.

I hope that you all are starting or getting ready to star a relaxing and fun summer. Spend it with friends & family and – especially if you find yourself away from the pasture – be sure to keep yourself near to our Good Shepherd.

Peace,
Jacob

Joys and sorrows

2006-05-29T10:55:00.000-05:00

For those who visit here, you may have read my recent post about the deaths of two young men in our community - Blake Whitworth and Zachary Kvistad (Zachary was in my home parish).

I have been asked by one of the parents to correct what I had written here earlier. Neither Blake nor Zachary died because of any kind of game - theirs were both accidental deaths.

There is little I can add to this except my apologies for perpetuating the false speculation of those investigating these two young men's deaths. I am sorry for the bad information, but more importantly for the hurt this may have caused to these young men's families.

Please continue to pray for the families and friends of Blake Whitworth and Zachary Kvistad.

God bless you,
Jacob Maurer

The 'Da Vince Code' - a response

2006-05-19T17:08:00.000-05:00

Preface
Before I talk about the book or the movie, let me clear the air. In case this is your first time here - and the name of the blog doesn't give it away - I am a Roman Catholic seminarian, which means that I am studying to be priest for the Catholic Church. Obviously I have a bias - hopefully this can be attributed to the fact that I believe in the faith to which I will one day (God willing) serve as a priest. Now you know.

If you are wondering by what authority I might be writing any kind of review or response, the answer is simple. None. Google offers this free web log service and so I have one. Cool, huh? However, I have read the book, which is to say that I have taken the time to not simply casually read it, but go through it quite closely and read up on its reasoning (or lack thereof).

More important to this issue, however, should be the fact that I have spent the better part of five years studying Catholic theology, history and those religions that developed before, alongside or after Christianity. There are certainly more educated people, but perhaps this lends some authority to what I have to say.

The Da Vinci Code
So what do I have to say? How to start.... I guess I'll simply come out with my thesis statement here: Both the movie and the book 'The Da Vinci Code' are not simple fiction for the common reader to enjoy. Instead, they use a poorly written story to cover up a thinly veiled attack on the Catholic Church.

“But its just a book of fiction”, you say? Here’s the rub – Daniel Brown has made point several times, publicly, that everything that he has referred to in the story is true. Too boot, if you read the book, you will notice that Brown opens the books with a list of “facts”, including the assertion that “All descriptions of artwork, architecture, documents, and secret rituals in this novel are accurate”.

Am I a fanatic to feel a need to respond to such claims? I don't think so (what fanatic thinks he is one?). But to prove this to you, dear reader, perhaps I should lay out the reasoning behind this conviction of mine.

What is the message behind the Da Vinci Code?
Good question. I'm glad you asked. Reading through the book, there are two particular messages that Daniel Brown wants the reader to come away with.

The Big, Bad, Catholic Church
The first is that the Catholic Church has maliciously and ruthlessly covered up the truth about Jesus - that He is not really the Son of God - in order to maintain a stranglehold of power over its members and the world in general.

How has the Catholic Church done this? Well, the same way that any other evil group does it. Lies, coercion and general badness. The Catholic Church, the book tells us, started with the lie that Jesus Christ was actually divine – despite the supposed ‘fact’ that everyone of the time knew Jesus wasn’t divine.

Furthermore, the early Christians were supposedly not the persecuted group that history says they were. In fact, the book claims, Christians persecuted pagans – so much that Constantine decided to first declare Christianity a legal religion, and then, the official religion. This was so that Christians would leave the Romans alone. (This seminarian wonders – how does the long history of the Roman empire’s intolerance and abuse of Christianity simply disappear?)

The Catholic Church went on to proclaim Jesus Christ as divine at the Council of Nicea so as to have an unchallengeable focal point of their new religion. Throughout the centuries, according to the book, the Catholic Church worked to build for itself an empire of power under the guise of religion. While the Catholic Church built up itself up, it had to work to effectively, though secretly, keep the ‘truth’ from ever being revealed.

The ‘divine feminine’
The ‘truth’ that the Catholic Church is being said to so desperately trying to hide is not only that Jesus was not divine, but that He married and had a child. The book claims that Mary Magdalene was the real ‘Holy Grail’ that Jesus passed around to His Apostles. Together they had a child (named Sarah, supposedly...).

The huge secret is that Mary Magdalene – being from the tribe of Benjamin (supposedly) – was of royal descent. Jesus was from the House of David. Together they joined two great lineages to create a super-royal bloodline. The secret that the Church is supposedly hiding is this lineage.

This lineage supposedly still exists today. Daniel Brown, throughout the book (and in the ‘fact’ sheet at the beginning of the book) refers to an organization called the “Priory of Sion” which protects the secret knowledge of where Mary Magdalene is buried. They worship Mary Magdalene as a divine person.

Imagine that I have at least one woman reader out there (welcome!). Before you jump for joy at the idea of a ‘divine feminine’, lets go over what that means. Women, Brown argues, are the better half of humanity (I imagine I’ll get no argument here). They serve as the conduit for life to enter the world and for man to experience God. Without going into the details, Brown glorifies a sexual ritual known as hieros gamos. The details of this are more than I wish to go over here, but you can read his words in the book itself (pg. 307-312).

The long and short of this ritual is that women, being able to bear life, are sacred – gods, essentially. Following this logic, a man must be unified to a woman in order to know the divine.

Is any of this sounding strange to you? It should. This errant theology is hardly more than a degradation of God to the flesh. Now don’t get me wrong, the act of marriage (the proper place of sex) is a wonderful thing. Its God-given purpose is to bring a man & a woman together in their marriage while also inviting life into the world. It is the ultimate expression of natural love – love so strong that a new person is brought into the world.

But that God enters into our experience through sex – the very height of sex as Brown suggests (pg. 309) – appears to me to quite ludicrous. In fact, it this makes no sense unless it is nothing more than an excuse to enter into promiscuous and anonymous sex. Theology of the body, anyone?

What's my response?
I can't convince anyone in a short article about the truth what I'm saying as opposed to the claims that Daniel Brown makes. You may even wonder why I am so fervently opposed to this. The fact of the matter is that someone is purposefully spreading vicious lies about the practices of my Church and the beliefs that I hold dear. Sure, its written in the context of a work of fiction - so what?

A movie reviewer that I respect enormously wrote a solid review about this movie. He concluded by telling a short story. I quote in below in its entirety:

From Steven Greydanus' review The Da Vinci Code (2006)
Is it possible to put all this aside and just enjoy the story as a thriller, an enjoyable yarn? I honestly have no idea how people can take that approach.

Catholic writer Mark Shea tells an anecdote about a college bull session among students at Central Washington University over The Da Vinci Code. “Even if it’s just fiction,” a student opined, “it’s still interesting to think about.”

To which another student replied: “Your mother’s a whore.” And then, to the first student’s stunned incredulity, he added, “And even if that’s just fiction, it’s still interesting to think about.”

Its different when you care about it, isn't it?

There are three things that I hope to have you do in response to my writing. The first is that you educate yourself one what the history of the Church is - how did Christianity develop, what are Her teachings? This would involve no small amount of reading on your part - may I recommend the Scriptures as a starting point?

The second is that you educate yourself on the heresies that surrounded the Church throughout the centuries, but most especially in the first three hundred years. I would suggest going to a Catholic bookstore and looking up the Council of Nicea. In there you will learn quite a bit about the early heresies of Arianism, Docetism and perhaps most relevantly - Gnosticism, which is where Brown gets much of his material. You will also find out (from sources more reliable than I) that the council of Nicea defined Christ's nature - not His divinity. That is to say that Christ was fully human and fully divine at the same time - not that the council voted for Him to be upgraded to divinity.

Finally, I would suggest that you avoid paying for this book or its movie like the plague. If you want facts, do research - but in the meantime, don't support or encourage this kind of deliberate mis-information. The truth will always prevail, but our participation in lies only delays the triumph of the truth.

One last note - I am always happy to respond to questions. There is a comment feature here on blogspot - simply click on link next to the date at the bottom of this post.

God bless you,
Jacob Maurer

Have a blessed Easter

2006-04-16T03:47:00.000-05:00

Its 1:46 here in Washington - I got back from the vigil Mass here in my hometown and I'm still a little hyped (but fading fast!), so here I am.... The Easter Sunday Vigil Mass is the best Mass of the year - newly baptized, newly confirmed, nine readings that encompass salvation history, the Eucharist, the return of the long-lost word "Alleluia", the return of the Gloria (Glory to God in the highest....).....what more could you possibly want in a Mass? Really folks, this is just shy of the second coming of Jesus Christ - and even He makes an appearance at the Easter Vigil Mass (every Mass, actually...).

I recently found out that a certain 8th grade class, led by a certain young lady whose first name starts with a "J" and last name starts with a "P" has found my blog. I don't want to post your teacher's name here without her permission, but you know who you are. Yes, I'm talking to YOU - the one reading the blog. A special Easter greeting to all of you. It has been fun to hear about you from Miss JP (can I call her that?). I hope you enjoy hearing about us at Mundelein. Thank you, also, for thinking of me for Easter. The thingey (yes, I know what it is, but I'm trying to be vague!) that Miss JP passed on to me - which she said you all helped suggest - is very neat. Thank you also for your prayers. Please continue to pray for us here at the seminary - you will continue to be in my prayers.

And all y'all - above, below or at the eight grade (an awesome time of life, I think) ....have a wonderful and holy Easter. If you're not celebrating Easter, hop on a bus, go to Mass and then grab the nearest Catholic and go home with them to celebrate. Its called inviting yourself over and on Easter Sunday, its an OK practice!

Praise God & Happy Easter!

- Jacob Maurer

Laughing Jesus: Lenten suffering and Easter happiness

2006-04-06T23:21:00.000-05:00

JMJ

One of the hardest things for believers of Christ - or anyone in the world - is to explain or even understand why God allows for pain and suffering. We believe that God is all-powerful (omnipotent), all-knowing (omniscient) and, most significantly, all loving. So why is there so much hurt in the world - hurt that affects even those who obviously don't deserve it.

Moral evil

A boy whose parents kicked him out of his home, simply because they didn't want to care for him. A young man cruelly beaten - so badly that he will be a quadriplegic for the rest of his life. A young woman, whose boyfriend beats her in a drunken stupor each night, and is now afraid of any relationship with men. A family that loses everything in a terrific hurricane and is now without any resources.

These are situations that exist in our world - and they are only a few examples of these evils.

When we read the Bible - and look at what the Church teaches - we see that this hasn't come from God's laziness. Nor has He simply decided that we are not worthy of His time. The fact of the matter is that God loves us so much that He will never force us to do anything, even if what we do is evil. He respects our freedom so much that He allows us to do whatever we wish. The downside to freedom, however, is that we can hurt others or be hurt - and God won't stop those hurts, because He wants to fully respect our freedom.

Material evil

That, however, doesn't do us much good in explaining things like hurricanes, earthquakes and tsunamis. That isn't something that humans can do anything about through their sin - isn't that controlled by God? How does the sin that I commit - from stealing to murder, even - cause that kind of evil to happen?

We believe, however, that even material evil is a result of sin - although not directly. You see, before the fall of man, we believe that the world was in perfect harmony. But when Adam and Eve chose to sin, they didn't only break our union with God, the very harmony of the world was broken. The order that God planned wasn't continued in humanity and that had consequences that we see today in the natural disasters that come at us.

The Lord & suffering

God doesn't stand outside or above our pain. Read through the Old Testament - He has witnessed the suffering of humanity and at every opportunity, He has offered to help and guide His people. Of course, if you continue reading, you'll see that each time, humanity took the path of Adam and Eve - doing exactly what God told them not to (complaining about the conditions of the exile, worshipping a golden calf, not trusting in God's protection at the Promised Land). Its the same old story, told in various ways and different circumstances.

So God did the unthinkable. We obviously weren't going to drag ourselves out of sin by our bootstraps. Humanity as a whole has been happy to trudge along in sin, settling for lesser, base goods because we've lost sight of the ultimate Good. Enter Jesus.

We all know Jesus' life story, but chew on this for a moment. Before He became human - before He was Jesus,the Word was solely divine. He (although technically the Word had no gender before He became man) was God - a Person in the Holy Trinity. He was/had the greatest Good.

And then He became man - permanently! Jesus Christ didn't just become a human being for 33 years, die, come back for a while and then go back to heaven to the way things were. He became man, lived life from a helpless infancy to a humiliating death. The Word didn't give up divinity, but also assumed humanity: Jesus Christ became 100% human while remaining 100% divine. And He did it for all eternity.

Its absurd - completely and totally crazy. Tomorrow morning, Bill Gates will become - of his own free will - an man-ant. Or President Bush will become a man-fish. Pope Benedict will become an man-amoeba. Its like that - only on an infinitely larger scale.

And why did God send His Word to do this? So He could have us - the wayward, spiteful, sinful, stubborn, silly, stupid humanity - back with Him for all eternity. I guess love makes even God do crazy (but lovely) things.

Laughing Jesus

Maybe you didn't know this, but there is a minor theological controversy over whether or not Jesus ever laughed. The picture in my profile (appropriately known as "Jesus Laughing") is the focus of quite some talk.

The problem that many theologians have is that Jesus would never have laughed, because His mission was one of the utmost seriousness & importance. Others say that Jesus never laughed because all jokes revolve around the world, which is in a state that is no laughing mattter.

Bah humbug! Jesus laughed. Period. He laughed (laughs?) because He knows human suffering & He knows human joy. Laughter is a human response to something that isn't right. So yes, in a way, all laughter is making light of the state of the world. When my familie's sheep bounce their head off of the fence, we laugh (not too hard...). When Willy Coyote falls off a cliff while chasing the Roadrunner we laugh.

Why? Because we recognize that while there is suffering, there is hope - that the suffering that happens in our lives is not the end. If it was the only thing, then laughter would indeed be cruel. If our sheep were going to bounce their (hard) heads off the fence forever, laughing at them would just be mean. But we know that they will learn and become better sheep. We laugh at Willy Coyote because we know that there is something better and that he is chasing after something lesser. We laugh because we know better.

There is something more that is waiting for us - that has been promised to us, that has indeed been already given to us. We laugh because the suffering of this life, though painful, has already been defeated. We must still bear it, but always with the promise of eternal life with God in mind. And we laugh at it because all of our suffering can only make us strong in body & soul for that re-union.

God allows suffering in this life - there is no way to avoid that. But He has not allowed suffering to be the final end, despite our best efforts throughout history & throughout our lives to make this so. His Word made flesh - Jesus Christ our Lord - changed everything. This Easter, and beyond, laugh off the suffering, because we've been promised eternity with Love that will do away with all sorrow and suffering.

- Jacob

Lenten events - lenten miracles

2006-03-26T21:46:00.000-06:00

Its been a little bit since my last blog post. Fortunately, I don't enough readers to receive hate mail for this minor sin. (I hope my precious few readers will be assured that I do care about them, however!)

This Lent has been quite an awesome one. To start off, two of my friends - a couple whom many of us here at the seminary have gotten to know since the accident - gave birth to their first child, a baby boy named Thomas Jared. He's just over three weeks old now and the coolest kid. Another great reason to hang out with a couple of very cool people. They're two super-Catholics & I'm confident that they will be (are) great parents.

It has been something special to share in these guy's newfound parenthood - in the distant way that friends can. The worries, expectations & joys of having a new child have really been made real in their parenthood. How does a couple prepare to be parents? What makes a good parent - and what ensures that a couple won't be terrible parents? The answer is that there needs to be a sincere preparation for the responsibility for guiding a new life - but also belief & trust in God's providence and plan for us, especially parents. Praise God for the gift of life - and of trusting the nurturing of that life to us & our parents!

Another Lenten miracle - also concerning this family - is worthy of mentioning. The brother of the mother of Thomas Jared (got that?) was in a really terrible accident a couple weeks ago. His car flipped several times & he was airlifted to the hospital. It was touch and go for quite some time: fractures in his face, internal bleeding, bleeding around his brain & a lot of cosmetic damage as well (teeth gone, fierce road rash).

The long and short of it is that he not only survived (a miracle in itself - something even the doctors attest to), but he has relatively little permanent damage. His left eye is damaged - perhaps to the point of blindness - and he has the cosmetic details to be taken care of. But in spite of all this, he was able to visit Thomas Jared & his mother a week ago. We all were introduced to him and from where I stood, he looked fantastic. You would think that he got the hard end of a long brawl, but he looks like a healthy young man - and he is. All praise & thanks be to God for this miracle as well.

In other news, Mundelein seminary is going through a bit of change. Father John Canary, at the end of last quarter, was asked by Cardinal George to be the Vicar General for the Archdiocese of Chicago. As he is the cardinal, one doesn't say no without being on the deathbed. So Father Canary stepped down as rector and we were left with a hole in our administration (and some pretty large shoes to fill). Last week, Cardinal George announced that Father Dennis Lyle will be the new rector here at Mundelein.

Finally, I'd like to point all of you to my brother's blog. I probably don't tout my family enough, but with another Maurer man online, perhaps I won't have to. Frankie is the family engineer (well, with my dad) & Army guy. But don't take my word for it - check out his blog. I've added it to my list on the right (at the top, of course....he is family).

I've also updated my prayer list. Please keep Thomas Jared and his uncle (his mother's brother, who was in the car accident...). Both are doing wonderfully, but can anyone really have too much grace? Perhaps you could throw in some prayers for Thomas Jared's parents (and all parents).

God is good (all the time)!

- Jacob

The joy of Lent

2006-03-12T10:24:00.000-06:00

A new quarter of classes & a new season of the Church. It is a wonderful time for looking to the love of Christ on the cross and seeing how we can perfect our own love. Lent is one of the best times of the year. The secular world has one day for self-improvement - New Years Day - and that's buttressed by the secular version of Christmas and the partying of the new year.

The Church in her wisdom offers us a journey of forty days to cross the wasteland desert that our sin creates in us. Forty days to recall Christ's life and death for us, forty days to prepare us for His resurrection at Easter - the promise (in the flesh) of God's eternal presence and love after death.

There is the notion that Lent is a time when the only appropriate attitude is self-castigation and sacrifice of things that are enjoyable. Chocolate, television, favorite activities or other good things are given up. There is a sense of obligatory penance - gloom & sorrow that we may not really feel.

But Lent isn't simply a period of fasting and sacrifice. The purpose of Lent is to help us to love ourselves less & less and to love God more fully. Fasting and sacrifice is the means to achieve that. It is not, however, the point of the season.

Too often Lent becomes reduced to fasting and sacrifice. Not only do we miss the point by doing this, but those fastings and sacrifices are - quite frankly - unworthily small sacrifices that are offered begrudgingly. In light of what we should be doing to better love God, doesn't giving up the luxury of chocolate for 40 days seem small in comparison? Imagine what your spouse, your best friend or a family member would think if they were the object of Lent. "You gave up television for me - but what are you doing for me?"

Well before Lent began, a group of us were talking about sacrifices and what people do for Lent. One person piped up and mentioned that her friend had given up sarcastic jokes & prodding for Lent. At first we all laughed, because this is something we enjoy playing around with. But after some discussion, we realized that this wasn't your run-of-the-mill Lenten sacrifice. This person wasn't just trying to give up something fun, he was trying to improve his charity towards others.

Now we're cooking with gas!

The height of Lent isn't in losing something good. Rather, the bread & water of Lent is in putting ourselves alongside Christ and honestly challenging ourselves to fully love Him - loving as He did. If we can look at these forty days in the desert - reflecting on Christ's life & death - as conforming us towards Christ, imagine how much more we will be able to love Christ in His resurrection.

God bless you during this Lent.

Ad majorem Dei gloriam!

- Jacob

Finals!

2006-02-13T19:13:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted in a while - have a couple reflections that I wrote up on my desk (on racism & the Islamic rioting over the cartoon of Mohammad). I don't know if they'll be up any time this week - or at all, really! - but if you have a minute, send up an 'Our Father' or a 'Hail Mary' for all of us as we get these exams pegged.

(If you have fifteen minutes, a rosary would be great!)

Off to go study....

- Jacob

Walk for Life - West Coast

2006-01-29T23:30:00.000-06:00

After posting about my friends on television, I ran across some commentary on that very march. I never realized the terrible persecution - a fair word, I think - that marchers on the west coast face. Below is a link to an account of the west coast Walk for Life. It is worth knowing what folks who stand up for life (as thousands do each year) must face in order to testify to the truth.

Be warned, there is nothing censored here. And yet, is it revealing on the tactics of those who are invested in an evil. Our group, marching in Washington D.C., faced absolutely none of this - the march was in fact a relatively peaceful and grace-filled event. The west coast marchers must have a stronger stamina and more bravery - they directly opposed.

Read more here - http://www.zombietime.com/walk_for_life/.

Ad majorem Dei gloriam

- Jacob

A (surprising) reminder of home

2006-01-29T23:16:00.000-06:00

So its 10:00 at night here in Mundelein and I'm finishing off the last things I need to do before I face the new week. With some time on my hands, I head down to the television room to relax for an hour. While I'm channel-surfing, I come across "Life on the Rock" on EWTN. And who do I see? Lindsey and Aaron ******** from Saint Olaf's parish (my home parish!) and their group from Western University in Washington state! Too boot, Adam Flamiatos - a Seattle seminarian - is there with them.

They're doing the West Coast Walk for Life and are being interviewed by, well, one of the brothers from the show. I'm watching (thinking "I know those guys...how cool is that?"), Adam, Lindsey and Aaron all get asked various questions and come out with these confident and Catholic responses. The whole group, in fact, answered several questions and shared a bit of their own experiences living on-campus as Catholics or living out their faith.

How awesome is that!!! Folks from my little corner of the world testifying to their faith on national television as they march for life. Too cool - and an edifying moment to see others (that I know!) living out their faith for the world to see.

Peace,
Jacob

New life in the world!

2006-01-24T14:16:00.000-06:00

This weekend, 25 seminarians and 2 faculty members marched along with thousands of other pro-life Americans to the Supreme Court. Each year, from the generosity of Cardinal George, up to thirty representatives make this pilgrimmage - which includes a vigil Mass at the Basilica in Washington D.C. as well as holy hours throughout the night. Hopefully I'll be able to put up pictures in the near future.

While we were marching for the lives of our brothers and sisters, there were two births at my own home. Sunday, January 22nd, our eldest ewe (Marsha) gave birth two female lambs. This is a big deal at the Maurer clan ranch, as we have never collectively managed the whole birthing animal thing. Fortunately for us, God took care of the whole thing and the lambs were born while the family was at Mass. They came home to find two baby lambs running around on the ranch! Wow.

So the picture above is my mother with one of the babies. Isn't she beautiful? I'll bet you'd never guess that her birthday is the same as the lamb she's holding. Happy birthday lambs! (Happy Birthday Mom!).

Peace,
Jacob

Jumping into the year 2006

2006-01-14T10:36:00.000-06:00

Holy Shmoly! Its 2006! Let's hear it for another successful year in the new millenium (given the fears of Y2K)!

When I was younger (oh so long ago....), each new year was an exciting and big event. We'd stay up late at a party with friends, eat a bunch of good-but-bad-for-you food (is it just me, or is that kind of food multiplying?) and play games while we waited for 12:AM to strike. When we lived in Hawaii, this was done outdoors at a wonderful 65-70^o F, which allowed for us kids to run around the neighborhood and see what everybody else was doing to celebrate.

Nowadays, with me as a seminarian (catching up with folks at all the Christmas Masses and my family & friends over the break) and my folks as the super-Catholics that they are (organist, choir director, liturgy collaborator...and thats just my mom!), New Years Eve doesn't hold the same energy level. My folks went off to a quiet party with friends and us kids hung out and watched movies. I hope the 2006 baby didn't feel too slighted.

One thing that did stay the same, however, was New Year's resolutions. I frankly wasn't sure what I wanted to resolve to do this year. Getting in shape, buffing up spiritually and academically were all already on my life - and I should be doing all that anyway.

Then I remembered a conversation a group of us had with a couple of Jared's friends (a married couple - plus one unborn & secretly named boy - who hang out at the seminary pretty regularly). We were talking about Lenten resolutions and how to make a sacrifice that would really challenge a person's growth. And they came up with the suggestion of giving up sarcasm.

Oh, boy....

Now that really hit a nerve in all of us - we're all friends, so we're constantly sarcastic with each other. Could we survive without sarcasm at the seminary? We'd be like lambs among wolves - forced to be brutally kind while baring our necks to any old thing.

It got me thinking though. Sure, sarcasm would be a good thing to give up, but what about some of those even worse habits - how about criticism or complaining? That's a scary thought. I don't think that I am unique in my disposition - my enjoyment even - of airing my thoughts on what is wrong with so-and-so's current decision or such-and-such's way of doing things.

You know, for folks (and not just seminarians) who live under God and His appointed ministers, this is a touchy point. At the seminary, and any parish, there is no given moment when some decision is found to be unpopular or a person's manner isn't under the microscope. How about when Father X decides to mention dress code at Mass - or J's tendency to fall asleep during Father N's homilies? Father M's decision to use the longer Eucharistic prayer may strike a lot of folks as inconsiderate and Mrs. H and her familie's tendency to be late may make for a good gossip-session after Mass.

I don't think this means shutting up and accepting every thing that comes my way as good or appropriate. But it does mean weighing my judgments carefully - and keeping my tongue in control. Charity is paramount, and that means restraining my temper and looking at why I feel so strongly - and whether that's really justified. Perhaps there is something I don't know, or maybe I'm just being a jerk.

Thats a hard lesson, but its a new year - there is the whole of 2006 to look at how to do this thing right. Who knows, maybe it will stick and next year I can just resolve to get back in shape.....

God bless you,
Jacob Maurer

Happy Holidays....eerr - Merry Christmas!

2005-12-26T21:11:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted in a while, but to all of you out there, MERRY CHRISTMAS. May the celebration of the birth of our Lord be a joyous one for you and your loved ones.

Respectfully,
Jacob Maurer

(Update) All praise to God our Father

2005-12-02T23:37:00.000-06:00

This week we had a ministry seminar on racism - which I have already written a rather lengthy commentary on. Stay posted for that.

For the moment, I just want to share my own joy at having spent a wonderful evening with friends. Tonight was 'bowling night' at the seminary and probably 100 of us went bowling at the local lanes. Accompanying us were a great young married couple and one of their friends (all three were close friends of Jared Cheek and are in the area - they're pretty regular guests at the seminary).

Anywho, the long & short of this bit is that we all had a wonderful time and had a chance to share our faith, how God has and is touching our lives & how blessed we are to have been given the Catholic faith. It is moments like this - when I'm given such heartening examples of those who are truly glad to be God's children and they share that joy - that I get a hearty reminder of God's work in the world. He loves us! How amazing and wonderful is that?

The moral of the story? Go bowling with some friends - Catholic & non-Catholic alike - embarrass yourself and laugh with your friends. And while you're at it, praise God together.

God is good! (all the time!) All the time! (God is good!)

God bless you!
- Jacob

Hey, look! I've got my own logo! (look up ↑)

2005-11-25T09:36:00.000-06:00

I decided that the templates blogspot provides really don't really look all that great, so I decided to customize this place a little bit. It helped that I had finals going on, so of course I took some time to avoid studying...

My pride & joy of that little effort is the logo, which is really just a conglomeration of different pictures that have been resized and put together. Of course, Pope John Paul II is there (upper left) - being the pope that I was born with. Pope Benedict XVI, being the current pope, couldn't be excluded either (lower right).

Michelangelo's Pietà follows on the left. Behind that are the doors to Saint James Cathedral - the cathedral of my archdiocese. God willing, someday I'll be ordained there! Next to those doors is a holy card picture of Saint Anthony of Padua holding the child Jesus. He is my confirmation saint and a inspiration to be a great preacher (if he can do it, there's hope for all of us!)

After that is an arial shot of the campus of Mundelein seminary. It looks like its only trees because, well, the seminary is mostly trees. In the center is Raphael's " Disputation of the Eucharist".

To the right of that is Saint Jean Baptiste Marie Vianney - the patron saint of priests. Then there is another shot of Mundelein seminary. That spot is the pier on the lake - one of the most beautiful spots in the seminary (excluding the main chapel, which is awesome).

The statue of the Sacred Heart of Jesus is from Saint James Cathedral in Seattle. Strange how things keep coming back to that place.... Of course, I think that no Catholic logo would be complete without referring to the greats of Catholic art, so a long shot of the Sistine Chapel is there too.

What do you think? Besides feeding my ego (enjoyable, but probably unhealthy), I'd be interested in hearing if its too dark, if it looks okay. (Alright! Alright! I'm just looking for a little ego feeding!). If you've done you're own logo, please post a link as well. I'd like to see other non-professional logos and learn from them too!

I hope everybody had a wonderful Thanksgiving celebration!

God bless you.

- Jacob Maurer

(Update) End of the quarter musings

2005-11-11T14:55:00.000-06:00

I think that there is something that all students have in common - the relief that comes from having completed all your assignments and the anticipation of an upcoming break. In this case there is Thanksgiving break - a wondrous two weeks that aren't liturgically heavy (in comparison to Christmas and Easter). A time to spend with family and friends and simply relax. Aaaaahhhhh.

Today we had two memorial plaque-stones placed in our seminary cemetery for Matty & Jared. Both of their families were here, as well as a few of their friends. As I was standing at the memorial service, I realized just how much I - and all of us - are still affected by their leaving. Certainly, saying goodbye at the vigil and funerals, as well as seeing all those they touched at the same helped, it hasn't closed the wounds. I suppose that this is normal, after only two months, but then again, I don't know what is normal in this kind of situation. In any case, please pray for Matty & Jared's family and for all of those who knew and loved them.

I'd also like to to take this opportunity to do a little advertising for my brother seminarians' blogs. Each of the guys on the right have a different take on things, have interesting insights into seminary life and various theological issues.

They're also goofballs and are good for a little free entertainment.

Ah! Almost forgot. Keep in your prayers one of our professors - Doctor Melanie Barrett, newly married wife of Doctor Edward Barrett. We don't have many marriage-related celebrations here at the seminary (go figure), so this stands out. Please send up a couple prayers in your free time that they may be showered with grace.

Finally, the pre-theology, 1st year and 2nd year men here at the seminary (myself included) will begin a three-day silent retreat. Please keep all of us in your prayers as we reflect on the quarter and on God's call for us.

God bless you and Happy Thanksgiving

- Jacob Maurer

(Reflection) I don’t want to be a seminarian

2005-11-08T01:08:00.000-06:00

Yes, you read that right and no, that’s not simply a gimmick to catch your attention. I sincerely and truly do not want to be a seminarian.

How can this be? I have been a seminarian for nearly five years now – I’ve gone through seminary college and earned two baccalaureates in theology & philosophy and am on my way to earning a masters in theology. God willing, I will be ordained in 2009 for the archdiocese of Seattle.

Nonetheless, I don’t want to be a seminarian.

Let me start from the beginning. Folks often ask me and my brother seminarians when and how we knew that God was calling us to the priesthood. The answers are various – I’ve often taken the tack of explaining how I felt called at 13 after a powerful conversion experience in the Protestant church where my mother played the organ (she is and always has been a strong Catholic, by the way). I then go on to explain that over a period of four years, I wrestled – to the ability that a maturing teen wrestles – with the idea of being a priest. At seventeen, the idea was still sticking out in my brain and so I contacted the archdiocese of Seattle. The rest, as they say, is history.

If I had half a brain, my answer would have been much shorter. Put simply, I would answer that I don’t know that God is calling me to the priesthood. I’m not 100% certain that this is my vocation and furthermore, I won’t be 100% until the bishop lays his hands on me makes me a priest. Essentially, when they slap a Roman collar on me, I’ll know.

But I don’t want to be a seminarian. That much I’ve figured out over the past five years. Being a seminarian is not as glorious as many Catholic thinks(though glory is not, nor should be, my motivation). We are constantly being evaluated on our life, our discernment and our suitability for the priesthood. We are under the supervision of ~20 different directors and ~30 teachers. It is often stressful, being constantly evaluated by our superiors as well as our peers. As one of my relatives has said, it is not small thing that we haven’t all gone completely mad. Perhaps its not for nothing that we have been put into a [theological] institution....

Like any kind of apprenticeship, being a seminarian is, for the majority of the time, an ignoble profession. Those who are ahead of me – namely priests – assume that I know little but am going to try to change them into the naive image that I have of priests and that I should stay out of sight and mind. This is not a unique experience – every person who is studying a profession under those experienced in the field know what it is to be relegated to the sidelines to watch and learn, treated like nothing.

At the same time, there are great joys and graces of being a seminarian. As a seminarian (as one friend reminded me), I can stand as an example and guide in a way that I can not as a layman. People come to me with many of their fears, secrets, sorrows and joys and I have the opportunity to share my gifts with them and receive their own gifts and love. Every time I visit a homebound elder, work with youth or assist at Mass, I find myself overwhelmed with the responsibility and gifts that are placed within me.

And being a seminarian – especially while at the seminary – is no terrible thing. My life is completely provided for: I have three hots and a cot, I study all things related to my faith, I have little to no financial burdens, I am surrounded by men who share my interests and I have sacraments, priests and devotionals up to my eyebrows. It is a unique situation where I am able to focus my entire life on perfecting myself into the man that I meant to be. Next time you meet a college student, ask them how many of these opportunities are presented to them so readily.

But being a seminarian is not my goal, and I don’t want to stay here. This isn’t to say that I’m unhappy to be a seminarian, but simply to be a seminarian, without the end goal of being a priest, is a pointless existence. Imagine that you were a high schooler – for ever. Or perhaps you are in training at your current job. What if that was all you ever did? What a miserable existence – to constantly train, but never become what you are striving to be.

What’s my point here? Why would is it important to realize that I don’t want to be a seminarian? I think this is valuable because we often find ourselves – no matter what our vocation – feeling boxed in by the circumstances we find ourselves in, as we try to reach a goal.

Teenagers look at their schooling and yearn to be free to do whatever they want. Engaged couples experience cold feet and a month before their wedding date, suddenly find themselves thinking of separation. Apprentices, during the years of training, question their ability and choice of profession. Men and women in their forties and fifties look back on their lives and begin to think that all that they’ve chosen was a waste.

In recent reflections, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is not a cause for discouragement - and I must confess that there are times when I am sincerely discouraged. I truly don’t want to be a seminarian – and if I thought that this was my final goal, I’d be packing my bags right now. Rather, times such as this are for re-evaluating the eternal vocation given to us by God and the role we are asked to play in this life to reach that vocation.

All of us are called to eternal union with God, where His wondrous and infinite love will surround us as we return that love in complete self-giving beyond anything we know in this life. To prepare us for that union – and to prepare us for that union – God plants in our souls a vocation, a vocation that will perfect us and through us, help perfect others.

When I look at my life this way, I find great cause for encouragement – great cause for joy and peace. I want to be with God - wanting this in an imperfect and often self-centered way – but desire Him still. I have a strong desire to be a priest and I truly believe that this desire comes from a call by God to be a priest – so that I may be perfected in Him and serve to help others to open themselves to that perfection.

The moral of this is that although we find ourselves doubting our choices, the proper response is not simply walking away from our choices (provided they are not sinful), but to take that doubt as an opportunity to call upon God for re-assurance of His love and guidance. Perhaps the road that I’m on – and the road that you are finding yourself on – is not one God intends. But it is a great comfort to know that for those who open themselves to God’s guiding grace, the life that we are supposed to lead will be pointed out to us, in just the way that we need to be told.

God bless you,

Jacob Maurer

SuperPope!

2005-11-01T19:09:00.000-06:00

SuperPope

This is simply too much to pass up. A fellow seminarian - Mel Strazizich (hey, look - I have his blog listed below - check it out!) - pointed out this to me.

I grew up on more American comics, so anime doesn't hold much appeal for me, but this Catholic spin on anime fun and just a catchy little short.

Click on the title bar to check it out.

God bless you

Jacob Maurer

Big Brother's view of USML

2005-10-30T23:02:00.000-06:00

I would have posted a full-size shot - with serious detail, down to the airplane that was flying over our lake the day the shot was taken - but apparently I have a size limit. Too bad.

If you want to see the seriously awesome satellite view, go to Google Maps and click on the "Hybrid" option on the upper right-hand corner. Wow.

- Jacob

Writing a homily....

2005-10-30T22:32:00.000-06:00

Have you ever gone to Mass and been completely blown away by what the priest said in his homily? Ever been touched in a way that was powerfully profound or simple and edifying? I know that I have - and its a wonderful blessing to meet a priest who has opened himself to the graces to do that.

Of course, that also involves learning to preach - and that is where me and my class is at this year. Now the flip side of a great homily is the poor homily - something every preacher wants to avoid. So here at the seminary we take classes to learn about preaching.

And the best way to learn is to do it yourself. Ack.

Did you know that the number one fear of just about everybody is public speaking? In other words, folks would rather face a shooting squad, man-eating plants, revolutionary squirrels and their girlfriend's dad - all at once - than speak in front of a group of people.

So it shouldn't come as any surprise that folks here at the seminary - myself included - aren't exactly thrilled with the idea. And to boot, we get to preach (as deacons) in front of 200-plus folks who are theologically well-trained. Better make that a good homily and double-check it for heresies!

So its 10:41 at night here in Mundelein and I'm trying to pump out and polish up a homily for class tomorrow. I just want to to thank every preacher out there for their work in preaching to us ungrateful folks. And the next time you go to Mass and listen to a good homily, thank the priest - that's hard work right there and takes a good bit of grace & talent to do!

God bless you,
Jacob Maurer

Diaconate ordinations

2005-10-28T23:34:00.000-05:00

This Sunday (October 30th, 2005), 18 men will be ordained here at Mundelein seminary. Please pray for these men!

Joachim Oladele Adeyemi
(Diocese of Ilorin, Nigeria)

Thomas Gerard Belanger
(Archdiocese of Chicago)

Arkadiusz Falana Benedykt
(Archdiocese of Chicago)

John Lisle Greb Avitus
(Diocese of Phoenix, AZ)

William Dennis Hill
(Diocese of Cheyenne, WY

Pawel Komperda
(Archdiocese of Chicago)

Stanley John Konieczy
(Diocese of Bellevill, IL)

Jose de Jesus Medina
(Archdiocese of Chicago)

Bolivar Guillermo Molina
(Archdiocese of Chicago)

Hugo Morales
(Archdiocese of Chicago)

Phi Nguyen
(Archdiocese of Chicago)

Marcin Pazdan
(Archdiocese of Chicago)

Leonard Rukuratwa
(Archdiocese of Chicago)

Adan Sandoval
(Archdiocese of Chicago)

Rolando Silva
(Diocese of Gaylord, MI)

Artur Jan Sowa
(Archdiocese of Chicago)

Mark Anthony Waslewski
(Archdiocese of Chicago)

Fernando Zuleta
(Archdiocese of Chicago)

Peace,
Jacob Maurer

(Update) Fighting the culture of death

2005-10-23T15:10:00.000-05:00

Every Saturday, here at Mundelein seminary, a group of men go out to pray at one of the two abortion mills in Chicago. We have several men here who also offer sidewalk counseling.

This Saturday was no different - we all went out at about 8:AM and drove down to the Planned Parenthood 'clinic'. We set up four different posters - a life poster (facing inwards towards mothers who are coming in and out of the abortion mill), a death poster (facing drivers and pedestrians to see some of the horrors of abortion), and posters of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Sacred Heart of Mary.

We have one man here in particular who is a regular sidewalk counselor. The rest of us will pray the rosary to the side and sing. If there is time we also pray the Divine Chaplet.

Normally, Planned Parenthood's death-scorts come out within minutes of our arrival. Interestingly enough, they didn't come out until nearly half an hour had passed. That was nearly thirty minutes of uninterrupted ministry to women considering abortion. A true grace.

However, the day is not without its challenges. Planned Parenthood is always the hardest to minister to. We're at a street corner, which means that there is a lot of noise and a lot of traffic (vehicles and pedestrians) - which means a lot of negative attention and distraction.

Too boot, Planned Parenthood has diabolically clever methods of disturbing our efforts. The basic disturbance is to have three death-scorts at the double doors into their abortion mill. As a couple or single woman approaches, one will hold one door open from the inside of the building, another will hold it open from the outside. The third will come up behind whoever is coming in. In this way, they box in those who come in, closing the doors behind them too. They will talk over our ministers as well.

This time, they also enlisted the help of a particularly aggressive young man. To start off, he was armed, which is always intimidating. If someone doesn't respect life at its very conception, it isn't a hard leap to them not respecting life at later stages.

But this man's tactic was to claim that our minister was violating his space. Of course, he would make sure that his space was always around the women that our minister was talking to. Then he would scream at the minister, effectively drowning him out and scaring him.

This lasted about twenty minutes. Then, a young woman came up and began praying with us (until then, it was only seminarians). That changed everything. I thought then and have always thought that women make a powerful witness by their presence at abortion mills, because they unequivocally know about pregnancy and abortion firsthand.

She came up and it was like the death-scorts were silenced. Shortly after, two other ministers (a young man and an older woman) came up, which also helped immensely. At one point, the young male death-scort began to scream again, at which point the new male minister calmly told him to stop or be forced to face them with police mediation. Some blustering went on, but it didn't happen again.

I don't know if we had any turn-arounds. In fact, I've never known if we had any turn-arounds, not firsthand. We may never know. I do know that yesterday, three young adults were standing on the sidewalk in Planned Parenthood volunteer vests, working out of fear and genuinely afraid of what we were doing. The grace that God sent to them and to those coming in was something that affected them. How, we may never know.

Before I came to Mundelein seminary, I never went to an abortion mill and never considered sidewalk counseling as something that I could do. I was scared of confrontation and scared of commitment. And even now that I do it, I'm still scared of both. But I urge you, and anyone you know who is pro-life, to take up pro-life action.

For those from my home diocese, I have provided a link (click here or click the title) to our very own Western Washington Pro-Life Network. God's grace can work through even the weakest of us and in the most intimidating of circumstances.

God bless you.

- Jacob Maurer

(A few shots of the death-scorts at the Planned Parenthood abortion mill in Chicago at the corner of Division and La Salle)

Also, check out Gerard Alba's blog for his own reflection on praying at the abortion mill. It was his first time doing this and his own thoughts are edifying and thoughtful.

(Update) Mundelein seminary Eucharistic procession

2005-10-21T16:58:00.000-05:00

On Tuesday (October 18th) we had wonderful Eucharistic procession and reconsecration of our campus. We processed around the campus and stopped at the accident site, all with Jesus along the way.

I would write more, but Shawn Tunink, a fellow seminarian, told us that he would post the pictures that he had at his blog and he has done not only that, but also a thoughtful reflection that speaks for the thoughts and sentiments of many of us.

Take a peek.

(Reflection) Made in the image of whom?

2005-10-20T22:08:00.000-05:00

Smallville

I'm a fan of show called Smallville, which airs on the WB channel (Warner Bros.). This show came out about four years ago and promised to delve into the beginning of Superman. Now I've been a fan of the Superman comic series ever since I first discovered them. He is an American icon and one that has captured the imaginations of several generations here in the U.S.A, as well as across the world.

So as you can imagine, I was pretty excited about this show - it seemed relatively original: exploring the influences on Clark Kent as a highschooler as well as creating its own mythology with a friendship between the young Clark Kent and a young Lex Luthor. Can a fan really ask for more?

Oh, how far that was from the truth.

Like most television series, the first season of Smallville was rocky, focusing nearly entirely on the idea that kryptonite (meteors from the planet Krypton, Clark Kent's true home) affects humans in ways that give them super powers. These powers are almost universally more than these people can handle and they use them unwisely, usually maliciously. So of course, the young Clark Kent played the hero for the entire first season.

Over the second and third season, after a strong fanbase had been established, character development came to the forefront. What was Clark Kent's family like? How did he live as a teenager? Were there girlfriends? Did he have the average teenage angst that we all have experienced? Did he rebel? And of course, what new things can we learn about his origins?.

All of this was promising and it seemed like the writers would put this to good use. The appearance of Christopher Reeves - the original Superman - thrilled and excited us fans, as well as the casting of other original actors from the Superman movies (Annette O'Toole [Lana Lang], Margaret Kidder [Lois Lane], others) as well as introducing hints of other famous comic book characters (Perry White, the Flash).

However, in the fourth season, what I truly feared most about this show came true.

The problem with WB (and most television networks)

Hmmmm. Thats a bit dramatic. Lets qualify that. You see, the fact that the Warner Bros. company was going to host Smallville had always left me with a bad taste in my mouth. This is the same television station that gives us shows like 7th Heaven, Charmed, Blue Collar TV and Everwood. Whats wrong with these shows, you ask? Let me tell you.

All of these shows had an interesting premise but eventually turned to easy ratings through popular trends or behavior. Premarital sex, foul language, and gratuitous violence in some combination. (Charmed is a notable exception; its premise was bad from the start - witchcraft is not something to be paraded for entertainment, period.)

These problems are not exclusive to the Warner Bros. channel. In truth, all networks have shows that ride heavily - even entirely - these elements. I highlight the Warner Bros. channel because they cater almost exclusively to teenagers, who in their thirst to be adults, mistake many vices for the virtues that create true maturity.

The demise of Smallville

My greatest fear for Smallville was that it would fall into the habit of catering to this misguided understanding of maturity. I recognize that in shows depicting [truth,] justice [and the American way] necessitate situations that involve some violence, perhaps even minor foul language and suggestive situations. All of these could be handled in a productive and moral way.

Obviously that rarely ever happens and the writers of Smallville succumbed to this problem. If you watched the series, you may have noticed, especially over the third season, an increase in the sexually suggestive comments, situations and even gestures. At the time, it was easy to roll my eyes and simply think 'they'll get over this'. However, in the fourth season, Smallville decided to mine the depths (or lack thereof) of this kind of ratings pull.

Season four featured, in almost every episode, sexual elements that pushed the envelope. The opening episode had Clark walking around naked for a good portion of the time, other episodes featured female characters kissing eachother, very revealingly dressed women and many suggestive comments, actions and situations. I'd provide examples, but quite frankly, they truly are too much to explain here without being scandolous myself.

"But its just a television show"

This is perhaps the biggest argument that I hear from people who want to continue watching television that is immoral (or amoral). Absolutely - and of course, nothing I see on television has any effect on my own behavior, ideals or thoughts. I can read, watch and hear anything and not be affected by it. Puleese.

There is a fallacy that people hold - that there are such things as 'private' sins. Now I'm not a believer in the New Age idea that we are all connected by some mysterious energy force and that everything I do affects everyone in the world. Thats simply silliness and post-modernist tripe.

However, Catholic theology does teach us that everything we do does have an effect on those we interact with. This is practical truth - not simply something the Pope cooked up to make us feel guilty.

The social effect

If I spend time looking at pornography, this will affect my own view of women. It takes a certain type of mindset to be able to look at another person as simply an object of my personal pleasure - with no regard to their own dignity as created in the image and likeness of God.

But it doesn't end there. In my interactions with others, implicitly (if not explicitly), I will have less respect for others as dignified humans - women in particular, but all people in general. I will be less firm in those areas of sexual morality (in my discussion, in custody of my eyes, in conversation, et cetera).

But isn't that still only affecting me? Absolutely not. Because we are all, whether we like it or not, public people. As a seminarian, I am particularly aware of this. People look at me with the expectation that I will reflect proper behavior, Catholic virtue and they will follow my example, to some degree.

And this isn't something that I have a monopoly on. I guarantee that there is at least five people that you will meet today who will be attracted to some good thing that you seem to embody. Perhaps you smile nicely, perhaps you said 'hello' kindly, perhaps you simply seem to carry yourself in a way that people find inviting.

Not to mention people who admire you because they actually know you.

All of these people will, in some way, watch you and try to emulate that virtue that they think you embody. Don't believe me? The next time you walk down the street, watch those around you inconspicuously and try to see how they react to you. Its amazing, because after a while you may see people smiling when they see you, watching you a little more closely or simply looking thoughtfully at you. This is perhaps most obvious on a train, plane or bus. Your friends will show this to a much higher extent - after all they like you and to some degree, want to be like you.

"Remember Peter, with great power comes great responsibility"

If you can accept that you have an enormous amount of influence on those around you, then this next bit should be easy to swallow. For the fact is, if I have that much power, a HUGE amount of impetus rests on me to be the best example that I can be.

Can you see why blindly putting ourselves before harmful influences would be dangerous? And not only to our own moral state, but to the state of others?

Television shows play a huge part in this. Television shows provide a way to relax - we simply turn on the tube and let pictures and sounds come to us. The problem with this passive reception is that we have forgotten that we must discern what we will and won't accept. Television has become an anesthetic for our brains.

People complain that the media has a huge power in our lives. This is true, and something that we can read about anywhere. But it is the television shows that truly have power to mold us. They create characters that we can empathize with, that seem to have a handle on the problems that we face everyday. And when they do things that we know are wrong, we are less willing to recognize that because these are the characters that resonate with our own situations.

See the pattern - the problem that we have placed ourselves in? I challenge you - and myself - to seriously look at those influences of television that we have allowed into our lives. Are you in agreement with the innate values of the show? Would you be willing to defend the treatment of issues on these shows as your own?

If not, maybe its time to put the television in a closet somewhere and find a good book.

I, for one, am going to return to real stories of a true super-man. After all, there is only One whose image that we were formed in, and that should be the image that we are trying to emulate.

- Jacob

(Announcement) <-- A new way to tell whats new at my blog

2005-10-20T22:02:00.000-05:00

I'd simply like to point out a 'feature' I'm implementing. In order to organize my blog a little better, I'm going to begin categorizing my posts by type. Before the title of each post, I will have, in parenthesis, what kind of post it is. There isn't a set system yet (I just thought this up today), but it should help you figure out what you want to read as well as help me keep track of my own posting pattern.

- Jacob

Baby priests!

2005-10-12T21:39:00.000-05:00

We had our Mass of the newly ordained priests from Mundelein seminary today. I only knew these men for a year, but it was great to see them all again. And to have this huge MASS of white around the altar was simply awesome. It really gives me hope that God is fostering vocations and bringing them to fruition.

I also want to point out a new section on my blog - its the prayer intentions section. Please take a moment to offer a quick prayer for these intentions - most especially the special intentions, which have specific people with a real need behind them.

Beautiful day here in Illinois - overcast and mid-60s. Felt just like home. I'm hoping for some thunderstorms tomorrow.....

God bless you.

- Jacob

A smattering of random thoughts

2005-10-11T16:24:00.000-05:00

Been a bit since my last post - which delved way into the nebulous world of philosophy. Glad to have that out of my system, however....

I was talking to a close friend last night and the issue of abortion came up. Turns out that a co-worker of hers recently had an abortion. My friend called up and was worried about her friend and about what she could do. I gave the advice of going to the local priest & talking with him, mentioned Project Rachael and encouraged her to pray.

But once again, it struck me that abortion isn't something that affects only the mother and the baby. What a terrible thing to think that there might have been something you could (or should) have done - and not know for sure. And what about the father - apathetic now, but later? What about the extended family.

And all this goes without mentioning the mother.

So I ask that you please pray for all mothers - especially my friend's co-worker. Maybe you could offer a 'Hail Mary' up to our Mother now?

---------

In other areas....this Thursday marks the 1-month anniversary of Matty and Jared's entrance into the glories of heaven. We will be celebrating Mass for them. We will also be having a Eucharistic procession, a benediction of the shrine at the accident site and a re-consecration of our campus. I think that will all happen at around mid-day. If you remember, join us in prayer - I think that a prayer to Mary would be appropriate!

---------

As a related aside, I'd encourage anyone who has been touched by Matty to visit his Mom (Pam) at her Xanga blog. She has a guestbook that you could sign with some encouragement or word of love. I will be keeping her blog on the sidebar to the right for future reference.

--------

My last mini-post here! At Mass today we had a wonderful moment (well, the whole Mass IS a wonderful moment). Our cantor had gotten three other guys and they sang this really beautiful 4-part song about having nothing to fear. Walking up to receive our Lord, I couldn't help but think how many blessings the Lord has given us.

May God's blessings and peace be with you!
- Jacob

Throwing out Aristotelian understandings?

2005-10-03T21:49:00.000-05:00

One of the things I like - and hate - about the seminary is that we are constantly being forced to broaden how and what we think. So I'm half writing this out to explain what my current struggle is, and half writing it out to help myself understand it.

If you see heresy, let me know - I'll do my best to not be obstinately heretical (that would probably be an impediment to orders, ya think?).

Today, in a class on the Eucharist, we were discussing the topic of transubstantiation. We all know the doctrine - during the Eucharistic prayer (at a point not specifically determined by Catholic theology), the bread and wine are changed - substantially - into the Body and Blood of Christ, under the appearances of bread and wine.

Okay, so you're wondering what the heck that means - and what is this Aristotelian bit?

Philosophy 101
Since Aristotle - and Thomas Aquinas (who baptized Aristotle's work to build Catholic theology upon) - we have understood that everything consists of essence and form - or substance and accidents. Because Aristotle is a philosopher, he must use words in a backwards way, so "substance" doesn't mean the material but the essential and "accidents" doesn't mean car crashes, but the material.

Easy enough - substance = the essence of a thing, accidents = the materials of a thing. For example, the accidents of Jacob Maurer are my height, my weight, my overly large nose (thanks Dad!) and a pair of oversized feet (hobbits in the blood). My substance on the other hand is two-fold - I have the essence of 'human', and more specifically of 'male' - and I have the unique essence of Jacob.

Substance is a bit harder because we can't see it - it is a more ethereal idea, but one that we hold.

Thanks for reading through that - I know it was painful (imagine 4 years of that!).

Back to the Eucharist....
So we believe that at transubstantiation, the substance (think, essence!) of bread and wine are replaced by the substance (essence!) of the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ. Thus we can say that Jesus is really and truly present.

At the same time, we say that the accidents of bread and wine remain the same - so we can't see this change. Our senses can only perceive the material, not the eternal, so we are left to take this on faith.

So far, so good? Excellent. Now I get to twist your mind (and mine!) around this next bit.

The dilemma
So....what happens to the substance of bread and wine? It seems contrary to the nature of God - He who created and loves all things - to destroy something. But it seems necessary to destroy the substance of bread and wine in order to make room for the substance of Christ's Body and Blood.

Now one of my classmates, at this point, raised his hand in confusion. He asked why we need to say that anything is destroyed at all? In fact, why do we need to even look at the world in the Aristotelian sense? We know, with our advanced scientific knowledge, that material things are made up of molecules - atoms. We call these arrangements of molecules and atoms different names for linguistic purposes.

"Could you pass the large collection of molecules to your left? No, no, not the one on the floor, the one on the larger collection of molecules supporting it!"

And that's just asking your mom to pass the turkey thats on the table instead of the dog food on the floor.

It seems strange to argue that non-eternal material things (like bread, water, wine, a table, et cetera) have some sort of eternal essence. When I take a wooden chair, chop it up and make it a table, I haven't destroyed any essence, have I? We aren't going to mourn the passing of the essence of the wooden chair, are we?

My hopefully non-heretical solution
But Jacob, what about the whole thing about bread and wine becoming Body and Blood? Fair question. I think that it would be logical to argue that bread and wine - a simple material thing without any eternal substance (still using the Aristotelian term!) - is given the substance of Body and Blood, still under the accidents of bread and wine.

I mean to avoid any twinges of con-substantiation - that the substance of the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ exists alongside the substance of bread and wine. A weakness in my line of thought is that this bread and wine is still the same, only now with the Body and Blood of Christ appended. But I think that one could successfully argue that by Christ's substance of Body and Blood being brought into the accidents of bread and wine, what it becomes is no longer bread & wine particularly because it now has a substance.

Try that on for size!

This way, we could still say that bread and wine (non-eternal material things) become the Body and Blood of Jesus, but without having to worry about our creative God destroying one of His creations.

So, would you move that pile of molecules with the little clicky molecules and click on the group of molecules on your screen of molecules and leave some thoughts in the box of molecules marked "comments"?

Peace,
Jacob

Chicago Daily Herald article

2005-09-29T22:59:00.000-05:00

The Chicago Daily Herald has written a very good article on Matty's blog. Its a really neat memorial to Matty's ability to attract people, even in the virtual world.

This link is not to the article itself, but to Shawn Tunink's blog - a close friend of Matty's. He has the article linked there, as well as some pictures of the accident site, for those who wish to see things for themselves.

Before you go, please offer a quick prayer for the repose of Matty & Jared, as well as the consolation and healing of their family, friends and Rob & Mark.

the Memorare:

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection,
implored your help or sought your intercession,
was left unaided.

Inspired with this confidence,
I fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother;
to you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful.

O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions,
but in your mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.

God bless you.

- Jacob
Mister Shawn Tunink's blog - "Diary of a Pilgrimage"

Zaufaj Panu Jeszcze dziś

2005-09-25T23:38:00.000-05:00

JMJ
Twenty-two more minutes and next week will have begun. I'm sitting here trying to catch up on all my reading, a quiz that I failed (walked into class, guessed at every single one of 100 true/false questions and apologized to the professor as I walked out) and somehow get a handle on the quarter. Maybe I'll put it off for a little while longer *grin*. Crazy life, this.

These last few days - besides the failed quiz - have been a real blessing. We had our cam (dorm) retreat. Not anything particularly deep, but really a time to get to know our fellow seminarians who live the same cam and to relax. I think it may have been just what we needed.

On the way home from the retreat, I was in a car with three other guys - all Polish. They didn't have any music in english, for which they apologized quite a bit. But they all loved singing, so they just went ahead and played anyhow. Now I don't know if you've heard the Polish language, but its not an easy thing to pronounce. For the most part, I can pass with learning Polish names and a couple basic greetings.

But I learned the refrain to one of the songs - Zaufaj Panu Jeszcze dziś. Roughly translated, the phrase means Trust Jesus Today (imperative). Its a child's song, but a really neat tune and not terribly difficult to pronounce. Zah-u-fy pah-nu Jeszcze dzis (okay, so I cheated and slurred the last two words). It was a neat moment, to be singing in another language as we drove along, without any reservation, in a group. I'm not much for the warm fuzzies, but this was a good one.

Went to a baseball game today, as well (yup, really working hard to catch up on my studies....). Brewers vs. Cardinals. Awesome game - a really fun time. Again, however, it was a good time to spend with friends, enjoy some conversation and be. And the Cardinals won, 2-0, which made the game that much more sublime.

Not much of a point here - just glad to have been given the graces of a bit of common joy in my weekend and fellowship with friends. God is good! (all the time). All the time! (God is good).

Peace,
Jacob

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord! (Job 1:21)

2005-09-20T17:12:00.000-05:00

From Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien

"I will not say, do not weep, for not all tears are an evil."

From Perelandra by C.S. Lewis on what he called the "Great Dance":

". . . Do your people think that their Dark Lord will hold his prey forever?"

"Most of them," said Ransom, "have ceased to think of such things at all. Some of us still have knowledge: but I did not at once see what you are talking of, because what you call the beginning we are accustomed to call the Last Things."

"I do not call it the beginning," said Tor the King. "It is but the wiping out of a false start in order that the world may then begin. As when a man lies down to sleep, if he finds a twisted root under his shoulder he will change his place - and after that his real sleep beings. Or as a man setting foot on an island, may make a false step. He steadies himself and after that his journey beings. You would not call that steadying of himself a last thing?"

So, as you've probably noticed, I added a little annoyance to my blog. If you visit Matty's blog, you'll notice the same thing. I had always thought that it was good idea (if not a bit intrusive) and after a little reflection, decided to adopt it as my own.

Matty's funeral was nothing short of awesome. St. Ann's was packed to the brim with his friends and family and there were in excess of twenty priest's concelebrating with the Archbishop, including some of last year's newly ordained priests from Mundelein seminary.

The homily at each funeral was especially good - at some point I may link up the texts, but I need to get permission to do that first....

I know that every Mass is a participation in Jesus' passion, death & resurrection and that no Mass is 'greater' than another. But there is something particularly special about a funeral Mass; it is both a terrible and wonderful thing. We all are in pain and sorrow, mourning the absence of a friend. At the same time, we're joined in a especially real way to the suffering of Jesus on the cross - in knowing the wages of sin - and to the suffering of Mary (especially) and the Apostles - in knowing sorrow of the loss of one loved.

Archbishop Keleher gave the homily at Jared's funeral - a lot was said in his and at Matty's homily that was particularly touching and helpful. But the most helpful thing that he said was about the Eucharist. He said that although we will not be able to be with Jared & Matty until eternity, we can still be with them at the Eucharist.

The Eucharist is, he said, the sacrament where Jesus makes Himself present to us. But when He comes, He doesn't come by Himself, but with all those who have been re-united with Him in heaven. In this way, we can still in some way be with them. What a wonderful consolation to have - one that I will remember every time I receive the Blessed Sacrament.

Peace,
Jacob

Funeral Arrangements

2005-09-18T00:14:00.000-05:00

For those who are interested in attending Matty & Jared's funeral, the details are below. I'm sorry for the late posting. Nonetheless, come if you are able - both his family and his friends would be happy to meet you, support you and share this time with you.

Visitation for Matty Molnar will be tonight, from 4-8 PM, at Saint Ann's parish in Prairie Village, Kansas. His funeral will be at 10:AM this Monday.

Visitation for Jared Cheek will be Wednesday night, at 7:PM and ending with a rosary at Immaculate Conception Church. His funeral will be this Thursday at 10:AM Immaculate Conception in St. Mary's, Kansas.

St. Ann Church
7231 Mission Rd.
Prairie Village

Immaculate Conception Church
208 W. Bertrand St.
St. Marys, KS 66536

Check out the Archdiocese of Kansas City online website for current and updated information.

Again, prayers are needed for the family and friends, especially throughout this week.

Eternal, grant unto them

2005-09-17T00:20:00.000-05:00

For anyone who knows someone at Mundelein seminary, they know that this week is one that will stay in the memory of our community for a long time to come. This thursday, September 15th, at around 1:30 am, there was a car accident involving four seminarians - Matty Molnar, Jared Cheek, Robert Spalding and Mark Rowlands.

Matty Molnar died that morning, Jared Cheek died yesterday (the following day). Rob & Mark suffered minor injuries.

I can't describe to you the sorrow and pain that is going through our seminary, the Archdiocese of Kansas City, Kansas, and especially through Matty's & Jared's friends and families. This has truly been a hellish week.

But rather than tell you how sad we are, and how rough things are going, let me tell you a bit about Matty and Jared. If you're reading this, you probably already know about them, so perhaps this is more for me than for you. So be it.

Matty was a super-energetic 26-year-old, with a penchant for doing things on the spur of the moment, but a real eye for the person who was sitting in the back away from everybody else. Every person at the seminary has met Matty, because he went out of his way to talk to them, learn their names and invite them to everything.

Matty was damn talented. Good on the piano, creative with songs ("Supermom" - need I say more?) and always willing to put himself up in front of everybody to get some laughs. Last year at the Christmas party, he hosted the whole thing and had us in stitches the whole time. While studying to be a doctor of the soul his favorite prescription was laughter.

I didn't know Jared as well. Really, I know him from the interactions we had in a hallway, at meals or the few times I hung out with him and the guys who knew him better (who happen to be my own diocesan brothers). But the one thing that always struck me was how quick he was to say hi, joke around or hang out. As a somewhat quieter guy, I really appreciate the simple things that he would do to let me, and others, know that he cared. A pat on the shoulder, a joke at the table, an invite to a game or hang out. I know that I was only one of many guys who wanted to get to know him better - both to be his friend and to be like him.

These two guys were perhaps the biggest guys on campus - they are two of a kind, but both living out the call in different style. Pray for the repose of their souls.

Please also pray for our community and for their families. And in the following weeks, please especially pray for Robert & Mark. Charges are being pressed against both of them and they are in for a nightmare of court proceedings and rehashing of that night. Its bad enough to be the driver in an accident that kills two of your best friends, but then to have to go through this too......

Pray for us. If you know a priest, ask him to offer a Mass (or four) for the intentions of these men.

Our Lady of Sorrows....pray for us.

- Jacob

"I’ve got a fever.... and the only prescription is more cowbell!”

2005-05-11T19:55:00.000-05:00

And now for something a little less serious....

Its nearing the end of the quarter for the men here at Mundelein seminary. We’re getting ready to go our own way: some men are leaving the seminary for good, others are getting ready for summer parish assignments and the deacons are preparing for ordination to the priesthood. Its kind of a bittersweet time though, as one deacon remarked, “more sweet than bitter” for those who are graduating.

One of the things we do for the men who are off to be ordained to be priests is Coffee House. After a Mass celebrating the men who’ve been here for four years and a sit-down dinner, this is a goofy talent show/roast - a last hurrah, really. Its the time when guys can pull out some of the craziest talents and really have fun.

This year’s Coffee House was awesome - they all are. In particular was an informal band that got together and played a couple songs. A couple of the guys in it were Matty Molnar and Shawn Tunink (the other guys don’t have blogs - sorry folks). One was an awesome song called SuperMom - a fun/serious song about Mary. Matty would probably kill me for saying this (publicly!), but its a work of genius. My hats off to him (I think he wrote it) and the guys who performed with him.

The other was little song was based off of Jimmy Buffet’s “Volcano”, with Matty singing about how he doesn’t know what he’s gonna do when so & so goes.....

Great song, ya had to be there. The really kicker for both of these was Shawn on this little shaker-thingy (I’ve been informed that this is a cabasa). Its a stick with a round thingey on top that several rows of metal balls on it. You push the rows back and forth for the sound.

Its just such a weird little instrument – not something you’d guess to be in a band. And Shawn has this really subtle sense of humor – did you know that you can jazz up a cabasa? I sure didn’t....

So the point of this ramble is that this reminded me a lot of the Saturday Night Live skit - Blue Oyster Cult: Behind the Music, which I present to you today. Definitely worth the five minutes of your life that it’ll cost you. Download it, watch it and feed your need for....cowbell.

Definitely worth the five minutes of your life it'll cost you.

Peace,

Jacob

Fraternal Correction

2005-05-04T12:59:00.000-05:00

During this time of the year at the seminary, the faculty, staff and our brother seminarians are asked to write evaluations for each other (well...really only for the students! :) ). For some men it is a proving ground for how well the year has gone, for others it is a necessary trial that is a bit more uncomfortable than the rest of the year.

Why do we do this? Its a reflection I have to make each time this comes around. Of course, there is Matthew 18:15 (see link), where Jesus exhorts the Apostles to approach a brother in sin, first individually, then with another brother and finally with the Church. This isn't much a consolation in the beginning of my reflections; I'm too pre-occupied with the whole process, and my own ego, to listen to any voice of reason - even the voice of my Savior.

The underlying challenge of Jesus in this passage is to take responsibility for each other. Its something that we (or, at least, I) hate to do. The first time I went through this process, I thought differently: that this would be the time that I could say what needed to be said and change those around me - dishing out just desserts. This would be the moment to fix those niggling annoyances of those around me. A moment to finally make things right!

Uh-huh.

Thank the Lord that I had good friends and some wise priests to help guide the process and help me avoid that trap. Charity in all things, and a compassionate approach to helping others to holiness. Still one wonders if others will return the favor. I've always liked to think that I'm an average guy....which would mean that there were probably a few guys who had similar (justifiable!) impulses against me.

This didn't (and doesn't) prove to be the case for the most part, even within the seminary. Yes, there is the vindictive side of people that whispers "stick it to 'im!". We do fall prey to it, either in the writing or the receiving. Often the first precedes the second (even if it takes a year to get back to you). But the enormous responsibility of fraternal correction sets it pretty quick, almost immediately after you pick up the pen to begin. The first thing that occurs to you is that this isn't some anonymous letter. Unlike a blog (!), you can be and sometimes are made to explain your comments - good or bad (and sometimes to more than just the person you commented on...).

Thats a major factor right there. It put us all on a level playing field. We aren't each other's superiors, from whom we accept criticism and even abuse without complaint. Everything that I write to John Doe is something that I'm going to have to account for to him. The instinct of self-preservation comes on pretty strong there.

In many ways, that instinct for self-preservation - avoiding confrontation or looking like a jerk - allows that enormous responsibility ("With great power comes great responsibility" - Uncle Ben Parker - Spiderman) to be taken with more charity and seriousness. What are the ways that my brother could grow? What are the ways that he contributes to our community, the virtues that are well-preserved, exemplified and shared?

In many ways, it calls for a drawing closer than ever before. Oftentimes, we only get this close to our family. I'm willing, and sometimes overeager, to criticize (and praise!) my family members. Comments come easy because we know each other intimately, enough to know that we mean the best for each other. In the seminary (and the world in general), we know this intellectually, but don't know it.

I think that this is the real source of our reluctance to criticize others. There is a risk, yes. One that threatens conflict between you and another, no matter who is the giver or receiver of correction. But even more frightening is the idea of drawing close to someone. The more the possibility for drawing close, the more the open I make myself for a jab to the heart. It is a vulnerable position to be in.

And so, once again, I write my letters of fraternal correction - and encouragement! - to my brother seminarians, in the hope that through this period of time we may draw ever closer in holiness. Now the challenge is to do the same, with charity and compassion - without prompting - in my everyday life....

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam!
- Jacob

The legendary first post

2005-05-03T23:27:00.000-05:00

So here is my first posting on a new blog. No doubt this will be remembered in the history books....or perhaps only in my mother's journal. Ah, well. At the very least it serves its purpose or testing if this whole thing works.

- Jacob